In Terms of a Shadow
by profiler120
Summary: An arranged marriage. A powerful Lord (Sesshoumaru), a penniless girl (Kagome). Was there even a minute chance this could work? [Sess-Kag] [AU] COMPLETE
1. Part I

In Terms of a Shadow

Author: profiler120

Email: profiler120@hotmail.com 

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance/General

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome 

Summary: How dare he? He'd bought her, the jerk! Paid off her mother *knowing* she couldn't refuse the money and all he wanted in return was to marry her daughter. It sounded innocent - it wasn't. If that wasn't bad enough her betrothed was a beautiful, but heartless man who had no interest in her and regarded her, loosely, as his property. 

Important Note: This story was inspired by "Goodbye Misao Makimachi...Forever Misao Shinomori" written by Nozhazuma. I've done another story with the 'arranged marriage' theme, but I was inspired to write this after reading Nozhazuma's story, so full credit to that author.

* * *

Life was funny sometimes. Not in a humorous way but in an odd, strange, disillusioned way. Life. My life. My poor pathetic life. My dreams, my hopes, my wants... worthless. They meant nothing now, I would never have them. I couldn't. They were taken from me. Stolen by the ones I loved more than all. The people I should have been able to depend on when everyone else was undependable. 

What did you do when there was nothing to look forward to? 

How do you escape the vacuum of despair where even hope cannot live? 

What did you do when you were forced into intimacy with someone you didn't know? A stranger? A cold stranger? A dangerous stranger? A beautiful stranger, but one who you knew, deep down, despised you? Truly, utterly, saw you as 'beneath' them? 

How could one hope? What was there to hope for? 

* * *

I kept trying to tell myself it wouldn't be so bad. That I was being overdramatic and immature, my life wasn't _really _over. But each time I thought of him my heart darkened a little bit more and my fears raised a notch. 

My life *_was_* over. Or it would be once he got possession of it. 

I sighed heavily. Maybe I could leave him after I fulfilled my obligations. My lips quirked up into a smile. I dreamt of him last night. His hand under my chin, holding me, staring down at me harshly. 

It had only been a couple hours. I couldn't escape. I wanted so badly to run away like a coward. Yet again, I told myself. 'This isn't so bad, you'll be okay'. 

I wouldn't be okay, I knew, deep down, I wouldn't. 

My head dropped just a bit lower. 

I jumped when I felt the presence of someone behind me. 

Tall. 

Male. 

I opened my mouth to scream only to have a hand clamped over it and was spun roughly around to face the intruder. My scream died silently, and a glare took its place. 

I stared up into his cold, gold eyes, his palm still pressed to my lips. He drew it away slowly. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Let's go." 

"Where are we going?" 

"To dinner." He replied stoically. 

"Really," I drawled. 

He raised a brow but didn't answer. I frowned. 

"I'm not interested, go away." 

"I'm not asking." 

I paused at that._ 'I'm not asking'. _It caused a shiver of cold terror to slide down my spine. What else wouldn't he ask for? 

Perhaps something shown on my face. Perhaps he was merely perceptive. 

"It's only dinner, Higurashi. Don't let your imagination run away with you." 

He turned swiftly and walked to the door and waited there without another word. I stood, frozen to the spot. 

"Go dress," he ordered and I followed the pathway up the stairs to my room numbly. 

I slipped on a simple kimono, nothing fancy. Not for him at least. Why should I bother? We were getting married whether he liked what I looked like or not, and vice-versa. 

I made my way back down coming into sight of him. There he still stood, waiting for me. 

"Is that it?" He asked, voice critical as he traced his eyes over my figure. 

"Yes," I replied almost huffily. He made me feel like I was wearing a bed sheet. This is the man I'm going to marry; I thought bitterly when he finally turned away without a word. 

"Let's go then." 

I followed him silently to the dining room. Why hadn't he just sent a servant to fetch me? As we walked I stared. He was dressed finely, finer than I. Long, silver white hair pooled gracefully down his back. He and I couldn't be the same age - not even close. 

He must be older than me by... years? 

"How old are you?" I asked directly. 

"Twenty-six." 

That was... eight years! He was almost ten years older than me. I cringed. Great. 

Wasn't it a bit late in life for him to be marrying? He should have been married for years now with a goggle of kids. 

"What is your problem, now?" He asked as though he were familiar with my attitude changes. He almost said it like I was about to throw a tantrum. 

"Nothing," I replied keeping my eyes averted. 

The dining room was prepared and to my relief we were the only ones there. No company tonight. 

It was weakly lit and quiet. It was a traditional dining room. Low tables, cushions, soft music. Now this seemed more like what I imagined Sesshoumaru to like. Quiet, traditional, just peaceful atmosphere that he would, more than likely, spend lots of time alone. 

The tables were spread farther apart and the straw colored, matted floor was dotted with bright red seating cushions. It was beautiful. 

Sesshoumaru sat without a word and our silent escort left us. A girl probably my age or a little older than my eighteen years came bearing a tray. On it was a tea set and two glasses of water. She served us silently and I found myself wondering again. 

This was really the strangest eating experience I'd ever had. She bowed and left us quietly leaving me puzzled. 

"You like quiet places?" I asked even though I was almost certain of the answer. 

"Obviously," he spared me a reply although I could see conversation wasn't one of his interests. At least, not with me. 

"Why'd you bother bringing me here? I mean, you're not one for talking so ... what was the point?" 

His gaze finally flickered back to me, but I wasn't happy for it. 

"I wanted to see how annoying you truly were before I exposed you to places with people I know." 

I glared. "There's a very simple solution to that - I'll stay home." 

He dropped his gaze. "You will come when I tell you so." 

"Why do you have to be so high and mighty anyway? Would it kill you to be sociable? A tad bit polite? What right do you have to demand anything from me?!" I snapped, shattering our peaceful atmosphere. I hoped I was getting on his nerves. 

"Keep your voice down," was his only reply. 

Feeling my grip on my temper slip I slammed my fist down on the table and glared outright. 

"I will not! I will be answered, thank you very much! I'm not a quiet girl, I don't take orders well, and I certainly don't like attitudes! You want a woman whose going to obey your orders, marry Kikyo!" 

"Your sister-" 

"Half-sister," I growled irritably not wanting to name a relationship with her at all. 

He ignored the correction. "Your sister," he went on determinately, "is marrying my younger brother Inuyasha." 

I stopped, surprised by the announcement. He had a younger brother and she was marrying him? 

"Oh... was that in the will too?" 

He flickered his gaze on me momentarily, but said nothing. 

I sighed heavily.

Well fine, if that's the way it had to be. If I was going to be miserable, I would make sure he was too! Or... maybe I shouldn't be so mean? Maybe I was being childish again? Okay, no miserable, but annoyed was okay. I smiled to myself, ignoring his stare. He'd been watching me a while now. I looked away, propping my elbow up on the table and allowing my mind to drift. 

I could already imagine our life together. A thousand 'what-if' scenario's popping up in my head. Would he be awake before me? Would we have breakfast together? Would we stand side by side at the sink, white foam seeping out of my mouth and him staring down at me almost as if to say 'you're doing it all wrong'? I frowned. Who was he to tell me I didn't know how to clean my teeth properly? 

The woman reappeared carrying a tray, another woman beside her and then two more behind her. Amazing, how many people were there on staff here? They served us quietly and left. 

Dinner was quiet from there out. We didn't speak at all. I ate quietly refusing to meet his gaze. He didn't protest in any way. One might have called the silence 'pleasant' had they not known how much tension was laced in the air between us. I had to marry this icicle? 

I didn't dare say another word to him, even as I was brought back to my room. He followed. 

I walked on as though I didn't know he was behind me. I almost swept through the door without a confrontation but his hand lashed out, snatching my wrist. 

"Let go." I ordered. 

He wordlessly tugged my wrist, pulling me backwards, snapping the door closed. I stared at the wood surface of the door, his hand still wrapped around my wrist. 

"Higurashi." 

He stepped up, closer to me. I could feel the heat of his body as his chest pressed against my back. 

"Do you fear me, Higurashi? Does the thought of retiring to my bed chambers each night cause you to tremble?" 

I clenched my teeth half in anger, half in nervousness. "Goodnight." 

I snatched back my wrist and stepped into my room closing the door in his face. I *hated* that guy! It was so totally official. He was a jerk, and I hated him. My life was over. Why was my family doing this to me? 

Family, I scoffed, some family they were shipping me off to be Sesshoumaru's baby bearer. So what if the great Masaharu family needed an heir, what did I care for his continued bloodline? I hated this. I hated it. It was making my blood boil. 

I had slammed my door in a childish huff, never looking back. Not seeing or hearing that he'd followed me until I felt a hand on my shoulder as I stood there stewing in anger. I jumped, twisting and ultimately falling. 

I hit the floor, embarrassed beyond belief and stared up at him, even angrier than ever. Now humiliated. 

Stupid kimono, I thought. Stupid life. Stupid Sesshoumaru. Stupid...me. 

"What do you want from me? Can't I have ten minutes alone, in peace?" 

"Hate me if you want. I require one heir from you after that you may do as you wish. I won't force you." 

"Really? Can I leave?" I was being far too hopeful. 

He hesitated. "Leave?" 

"That's right. Can I leave? Have the kid and leave you, go, never come back here?" 

He stared down at me as though he'd never considered this possibility. "No - I do not take particular delight in marrying you but I will not allow you to disgrace yourself and me with such actions. This is your home, your future, hate it if you choose, but live it you will." 

He turned and left me. I had never felt so alone. Here I was in the middle of every girl's fantasy and I was miserable. I was living in a beautiful house, and I was marrying a beautiful guy. 

I heard the door slide open again and saw Sango, one of the maids enter. 

"Are you okay, Kagome-sama?" 

I nodded numbly. What else could I do? I, simple, unimportant little peasant girl was marrying the Lord of the Western Lands because he valued my bloodline. He needed an heir. 

I frowned. An heir. That meant a male child. If our first child were a female I would have to have another. If I never had a male, well I wasn't sure what would happen but I doubted it would be good. 

My family had sent me here after they had received a letter from the palace. Apparently my father and the father of the current Lord had been good friends and in repayment Inutaisho had left in his will that his son marry his best friend's daughter, me. 

My father had died years ago leaving us dependent upon the income of the shrine to live. It wasn't much, so we were rather poor. My mother hadn't wanted to send me away, but when she'd been offered a significant amount of money to 'help out' she could not refuse. 

I had, in a sense, been bought from my own family. Bought so that the great Sesshoumaru-sama could fulfill his father's wish in marrying me and bearing him a necessary heir. 

How my older half-sister Kikyo fit into this was a mystery however. I knew who she was, my elder half sibling, but we never spoke. She was the product of an affair my father had had before he and my mother had produced any children together, very early into their marriage. My mother had been surprisingly forgiving about the whole matter, but maybe so because he died a few short years later after Souta and I were born. 

This was awful. Just awful. I had only been here a day or so having arrived yesterday but I didn't like the circumstances any better. I'd been imagining how terrible this place would be all week, only to discover it wasn't the dungeon I'd imagined. 

It was lavish and beautiful. So unlike the prison I'd thought myself to be in, but it was still not a happy place. It was quiet and no one spoke without being spoken to first. It was utterly depressing. 

The 'wedding' was in four days since preparations were still being made. My Lord and Master, Sesshoumaru, had been by to see me a couple times since I'd arrived. I think he likes bothering me. 

I sat down on my futon lazily. The room around me was startlingly bare. My chest for clothes, my futon, my vanity, and that was it. Lovely, I thought sarcastically. If it weren't for the exquisiteness of the furniture I might have thought myself at home again in my own sparse little room. 

I looked up as the door slid open only to see a line of women flowing in. Wedding preparations. Great, I thought bitterly, just what I wanted to do, prepare for the lousy, stupid wedding I didn't want to be in. 

This was so unfair. Why did bad things always happen to me? A nice, friendly person like me? Sure, I wasn't the greatest humanitarian or anything, but really! 

Okay, so perhaps I'd killed more of my share of spiders and icky, crawly things, but that was totally different! They were... nasty! I had to kill them; I was doing a service for all of mankind! I hadn't tortured them or anything either! Just a quick *squash* and it was over. I was even merciful to the stupid bugs! Ah! 

I was soon lost in the sea of females. Chattering here and there, drowning my ears. It seemed like forever before they finally left and I was alone again. Alone. Alone in the drab room. Was this to be my room? 

Was this just a temporary room until I was moved to *his* room? Would we be sharing a room at all? I sighed. 

* * *

I woke early, surprisingly so. It was still dark outside. It was one of those strange awakenings though, when you were suddenly wide-awake and didn't know why. I grabbed a robe, bathed, and dressed quickly. My thoughts wandered as my feet carried me around the halls. I wasn't sure where I was, where I was going or anything. I just wandered around aimlessly. 

I was drawn to the sound of laughter. I spotted a small group from my place at the end of the hall. The doors were pulled open and I could see them lying around the large, open room. A white haired male, and several others piled around him. 

"Hey! Come on down, party with us!" 

I stared as I was apparently waved in to join the party. I reluctantly took one step and then another towards the room. As I neared I saw a young man that looked startlingly like Sesshoumaru. 

"Have a drink!" 

Another of his companions, a dark haired male, capriciously threw a bottle of sake at me, which I, luckily, managed to catch. 

"Ooohh... she's a sharp one." Someone snickered off to one side.

"That kimono's a little tight honey, loosen up!" Another called, the room descending in snickering. A male, tall and lanky pulled himself to his feet, teetering over to where I stood. Before he reached me however a heavy arm descended over my shoulder, pulling me backwards.

"She's mine," a deep, dangerously possessive voice snapped as I was yanked back against another body.   
I was about to tell off my new 'companion' when I caught sight of his white hair and gold eyes. His gaze seemed to dare me to challenge his assertion that I was his.

He pulled me back, twisting the sake bottle out of my hand and throwing it at the approaching male, which he caught and wound back to his seat. 

"Inuyasha," he drawled, his voice deep. "This is Higurashi Kagome. She and I are marrying in three days, you or any of your cronies touch her, and I will have your 'finer parts' removed. Understand?" 

A few males snickered at the pale look creeping over Inuyasha's face. "Yeah, yeah," he waved him off and Sesshoumaru snagged me back pulling me from the room. 

"Let go. Why are you always handling me?!" 

He stopped turning back and staring down at me. "I haven't handled you yet, but I will... _later_." 

I shivered at his tone and implication. Jerk. He'd be lucky if I let him-

"That's another thing," he snapped. "You're obligated to provide me an heir, so any plans you have of avoiding me after we're wed you may promptly abandon them. _You are mine,_ I will have you." 

I tried to keep my eyes from tearing up. I flung his arm away from me. "How can you be so insensitive? Traipsing around here declaring me your property and then telling me you'll do what you want with me! You're such an ape!" 

He raised a brow. "An ape?" 

Strangely enough he seemed more amused than offended. 

"That's right! An ape!" He walked off while I followed after cursing him. 

"Do you ever shut up?" He snapped, stopping to look back at me trailing behind him. I stopped too, seething.

"Would it kill you to be nice to me? Are you incapable of being halfway decent about conversation? How hard is it to say 'how are you Kagome' or 'good morning Kagome, how did you sleep'? Or something like that? I'm trying to be, at least, pleasant!" 

"Pleasant?" He scoffed. "Bombarding me with your inane chatter and a million questions is supposed to be pleasant?"

"That's called friendly, you ape!" 

"Desist with the name calling, _woman_." 

"We're getting married. Couldn't you try _a little_ to get along with me? Of all the people who live here I should be one of the people you trust, if only a little bit. You won't even give me a chance!" 

He stared at me as though looking for any signs that I was not being perfectly serious. But I was. I was trying to get along with him, maybe bond a little before our wedding. Make myself at least a tiny bit worthy of earning his trust some day, he wasn't making it easy. Without a word he turned and walked away and not willing to let it go, I followed.

The walk was a long one and I noticed the further we went the quieter it got. He stopped at a doorway, sliding it open and standing aside. I took the cue and entered ahead of him. He followed me inside and closed the door behind him. 

It was a bedroom. A beautiful bedroom, it must have belonged to a woman. Silk and bamboo fans hung on one wall and there was an elaborate painting across the sliding closet doors on the other side of the room. 

"This room belonged to my mother." He said finally speaking up having moved hardly a step from the doorway.

From the look on his face the room was not someplace he visited often. Or... maybe ever. She must have been important to him. 

"How did you lose her?" 

Maybe it was wrong of me to ask how she died but I wanted to know. I wanted him to share something with me. Anything, it didn't matter what. 

"Heartbreak," he murmured.

I turned to him; almost in disbelief such words had come from _his_ mouth. "What?"

He turned to stare directly at me. "Do you love me?"

I paused. I couldn't very well say what I was thinking which was 'of course not'. 

"Do not lie. It is a disservice to yourself and to whom you are lying. You do not love me, nor did my mother love her husband, my father. Their marriage was arranged, but they got along horribly. After the birth of my brother she met and fell in love with someone else." He trailed off and showed no signs of continuing the story.

I wondered then, maybe she wasn't dead at all? 

"Is she still alive?" I ventured to ask, assuming I had thought she was dead far too soon.

After a lengthy pause he answered. "Yes. She ran off with him leaving my brother and me. She still lives." 

I approached and his faraway gaze sharpened suddenly on me. "Are you angry with her for going?" 

He answered, no hesitation. "Yes." 

"Do you forgive her?"

"No." 

I paused a moment. "Will you ever?"

"Unlikely." 

I nodded sadly, sighing. "I'm sorry." For a minute he glared but I continued. "For earlier - when I asked you if you would let me leave. It was selfish and immature of me... I'm trying not to think that way. I'll- I'll do my best. I've never been anyone's wife before." 

I met his eyes with a certain degree of unease half afraid I'd be rejected outright. His response was to wrap me in a gentle embrace. I smiled against his chest. We would both try then - and hopefully not repeat the mistakes of our parents, his and mine. Maybe we would be okay. Even if he was a miserable jerk. 

* * *

I hadn't seen him for the rest of the day. I had my suspicions that he had purposely avoided me. That was okay though, I guess I didn't want to see him either. I wasn't any sweeter on him than I had been before. Maybe I didn't hate him as much but I still didn't like him. Maybe I didn't like him because I couldn't forget how soft his hair had felt against my fingers, or the warmth of his body against mine, but I didn't want to think about it.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought avoiding each other was a good idea even if it couldn't last forever. I had only three days left until the wedding. 

"Kagome-sama!" 

I looked up at the call to see Sango running towards me. "Hurry, we need to get you dressed. Sesshoumaru-sama is having a luncheon party and wants to present you to them."

"'Present me', how nice." I scoffed. "Am I to be the only person presented?"

"I believe so. Please come, Kagome-sama. Sesshoumaru-sama has requested you bathe."

Kagome growled. "Oh, so now I smell too?! He is *so* going to get it when I find him the ape!" 

Despite my previous anger I felt my troubles melt away as I sank into the hot water. It seemed to suck my unhappiness right out of me as I leaned back, languishing.

I was not prepared however for the sound of dropping cloth, or even the presence of another person. Let alone one I didn't want to see, or share a bath with. Well, maybe not a bath, I'd thoroughly scrubbed in the adjoining room, I was just soaking now, but that really wasn't the issue. 

I just barely got a view of clear skin and white colored hair before they both disappeared beneath the water's surface. Granted, it was a big hot spring, but not big enough for me to be sharing it with Sesshoumaru! So what if we were getting married in three days! 

What should I do? 

I was caught, stuck, and unsure.

I fell back, stumbling slightly and dipping beneath the water clumsily before surfacing a moment later, sputtering out the water I'd inhaled.

"Do you find me so breathtaking, Kagome?"

I recovered quickly however, finding my voice again. He was some distance away, his back to me, and his wet hair clinging to his skin. Maybe he was breath taking, but I wasn't about to admit to that. Not in a million years.

"Breath-taking? Don't make me laugh." 

"Women throw themselves at my feet for the opportunity to share my bed." 

I scoffed. "What are they, blind, deaf, and dumb?" 

I watched as his shoulders tensed in response. "Really now, Kagome, I don't see men lining themselves up for you." 

This time it was I that tensed. "If you want a slut for a wife you're marrying the wrong woman." 

He turned, glancing over his shoulder and into my heated, offended eyes. I determined not to think or even acknowledge his presence further and turned my back to him. Let him stew over there, him and all that damned arrogance. Who did he think he was always being such a conceited jerk? 

I sighed raggedly. This was awful. Now I couldn't even enjoy a bath in relative peace. No, I had Mr. Bath-crasher here to keep me company, wasn't I so lucky? I scowled at the wall I was currently staring at, arms clutched over my breasts irritably. This was no longer enjoyable. All my tension returned. No relaxation would be found in the bath, I thought sullenly reaching for my robe.

I had a feeling he was watching me so I pulled it clear down into the water with me wrapping it around my frame. It was half wet when I managed to drag my heavy body out of the water, but I didn't care. It was probably more effort than I needed though considering I *was* marrying the guy in three days, it wasn't like it wasn't anything he wasn't going to see sooner or later anyway, right?

Still, I ignored the valid point and kept on with my righteous indignation. I glanced back once to see I'd been wrong. He wasn't looking at me after all. Still, off I walked dripping water after me. 

* * *

[End Chapter One. ] 

Author's Note: Hi, thanks for reading. Nice little story isn't it? I really liked this one. It's going to be short, only 2 or 3 more chapters (but don't hold me to that I could change my mind at anytime.) 

As of: 8/9/03 

Prisoner, My Prisoner - (whatever the next chapter number is) will be posted on Monday - (if I don't forget.) 

Blind Stitch My Heart- I stopped working on this for a month but I've gone back to it. It's half done, unfortunately I'm not sure that chapter eleven makes any sense at all since it veers off suddenly. I'll finish it and you all can decide the matter.

Breath in the Pages - I've gotten a surprising number of emails about continuing this plus all the requests in reviews. I have decided to continue it *sigh*. It's more than half done, but because of the length of the first chapter, it will be a while longer since I match my chapter lengths in all my stories, (or I try to.) 


	2. Part II

In Terms of a Shadow

Part II

Author: profiler120

Email: profiler120@hotmail.com 

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome 

Summary: How dare he? He'd bought her, the jerk! Paid off her mother *knowing* she couldn't refuse the money and all he wanted in return was to marry her daughter. It sounded innocent - it wasn't. If that wasn't bad enough her betrothed was a beautiful, but heartless man who had no interest in her and regarded her, loosely, as his property. 

Author's Note: (...) Watch for p.o.v. changes, they will be infrequent, but important.

* * *

taskinLUDE - I haven't really thought out a 'timeframe' for it. This was originally a modern fic - hence the toothpaste reference (I wondered if anyone would mention it. I just liked it so much I left it in, even though since I changed the timeframe it is historically incorrect.) 

The time frame is in the "past". Vague, yes. 

ParanoidNovice - 'Half-done', sorry that confused you. I was referring to the status of the chapter I was working on as 'half done'. As for chapters *shrugs*, I don't know how many are left. 

Alia - 'Highly unlikely' you think? No offense taken, I am appreciative of your honesty. ^_^ 

sesshyangel - I hadn't really thought about it until you mentioned it. I only used Sango at all since she was convenient at the moment. But since you've drawn attention to, no, Sango and Kagome will not be the predictable maid/mistress friend combo. She'll be around though, probably a very minor character now that I think about it. Miroku too, if I think to add him somewhere. 

Bikutoria - If you're interested in Nozhazuma's story, you can go ahead and read it. Her story and my own aren't that alike, they were more alike before but then I saw another fic at ff.net that was similar (I thought) to this one, so I had to tweak the entire concept. Ah, thank you so much for pointing out the "Kagome" thing. I missed that one. I catch myself switching back to 3rd person if I'm not careful. 

* * *

Lunch. Ooooh. Not awe-inspiring. Not unless the stoic prince you were marrying was there followed by a female entourage. Even then, 'awe-inspiring' wasn't the phrase I'd use, I thought bitterly. Maybe I was jealous staring at women more beautiful than myself. Maybe I was jealous that he seemed to be paying them *some* attention, while he ignored me. Maybe I just felt bitchy, who could say? 

It was probably just going to be a lousy day I thought testily looking up as the doors slid open and a group of men walked in. 

Amend that, I thought, it's going to be an awful day. I was more than surprised when the group positioned themselves around _me _as though I were one of those beautiful women sitting with Sesshoumaru when I knew such wasn't true. So, what was up with this?

"You must be the lovely Kagome-sama."

I glanced to the owner of the voice meeting bright blue eyes. "Who are you?" 

He grinned predatorily. "I am Kouga. Anyway, I figure you had to be Kagome because you simply aren't beautiful enough to be a courtesan." 

I felt my patience slip. We - Kouga and I were not going to get along. Not until he learned his place, I thought. I'd teach him to talk down to me, he had no idea what he was in for.

"Kouga, you say?"

He nodded affirmatively. 

"Well, *Kouga*, you're not really one to talk about looks." 

The others gasped. He stared at me a minute before breaking into a chuckle throwing an arm around my shoulder and pulling me against his chest. "I like you." 

"I don't like you, hands off!" I snapped, pushing him away. "Don't make me have to tell you twice!" 

The others were paying a great deal of attention to the situation unfolding in front of them, I noted. Especially Sesshoumaru, his eyes were glued to us. I thought briefly about trying to cozy up to the annoying 'Kouga' male, but quickly cut off the thought. I wouldn't debase myself, and certainly not with a ruffian like Kouga.

He backed off a little, but pestered me through the rest of lunch. I continued to scowl at him, but by the time the hour was up, I was actually beginning to warm to him. He was endearing in little ways and I couldn't help but smile at some of his comments. Despite his loud mouth and overly touchy ways he was quite insightful. 

The others slowly trickled away leaving only Kouga and me. We were, interestingly enough, discussing local legends. Somehow we'd ended up talking about the Shikon no tama. 

"Kagome." 

"Hmm?" I looked up already knowing who the voice belonged to. I found Sesshoumaru, alone, at the doorway. He didn't look in any way ruffled about my being with Kouga for such a while. 

"Sango is waiting for you at the library - you have preparations to finish making." 

I reluctantly stood and walked toward him turning back when I finally reached Sesshoumaru. I smiled warmly at Kouga. 

"It was nice talking to you, maybe we can have lunch another time and finish the discussion." I suggested.

He nodded standing likewise. "Anything for you Kagome-sama."

I brightened at the formality and walked off without a word to Sesshoumaru. It wasn't his addressing me formally that I was happy about, it was the fact he had done so with genuine respect. I hoped I had won him over. 

. . . 

I scowled at the two of them. I had, at first, enjoyed their bantering. I was surprised that Kouga had been so openly disrespectful to my would-be bride, but her response had pleased me. I was surprisingly happy she wasn't one of those demure little creatures that obeyed my every word. It would make life interesting. I hoped our private affairs would be as thrilling. 

Yet as time wore on my enjoyment turned to bitterness. I could not imagine how the two had gotten on so well and they had barely known one another an hour. The girl had been here with me for a couple days now and hadn't had that many words me with during her entire stay! I was not jealous, I told myself, but I was not happy. 

She would dare to insult me this way? I would not allow it, but she would be punished later. That damn Kouga was in for it first. I watched her as she retreated, blatantly ignoring me. She'd pay for that later too. 

"I will say this only once so be sure to hear it! She is mine - Higurashi Kagome will be my wife in three days. You may keep company with her as long as she desires it but you are _never_ to touch her!" 

Kouga stepped back uneasily. "Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." 

Without another word I spun around and left. I was discovering Kagome, despite her lack of overwhelming beauty like those nitwits that followed me around she had a magnetic effect on men. They were drawn to her it seemed and I didn't like it at all. She was mine - my father had, in a sense, given her to me, and I'd be damned if she was going to prefer other men. I would not be insulted so. I, Sesshoumaru, was not second to _any _man! 

I followed her to the library and then spent most of the day shadowing her activities, sighing when the day was finally over. As I retired to my chambers it was already past midnight. Two days to go. 

* * *

The animated little female was dogging my footsteps. Every time I turned around, she was there, mouth shut. It was a nice change, but somewhat disconcerting. 

She hadn't said a word since our argument this morning. Or, I amended, since I had told her to shut up. Well, she hadn't said a word to *me*, she had sporadically spoken to several others, but she remained adamantly silent in regards to myself. 

Now, as we approached the dining hall, I spotted Kouga and I wondered if she would seat herself and pick up with him where she'd left off with me. Or, been cut off by me, I corrected. I stepped in and paused, but she walked on by me without a word, without so much as a glance and I almost scowled to see that I'd been right. 

She smiled brightly and sat down at Kouga's side. It seemed barely two seconds and they were already smack in the middle of a discussion. I did scowl at that, I turned and walked to my own table. 

As typical it was surrounded by my female servants. I sat, and throughout the hour timeframe I watched her. She smiled, laughed, joked and just generally had a nice lunch with her companion, Kouga. 

I suppose I should've been happy. She wasn't bothering me anymore. She was bothering Kouga now. Only Kouga wasn't *bothered*. Wonderful, now I was jealous over a woman I didn't want to begin with, I thought with a frown.

Things had been going well too, I thought sardonically. I had told her about my mother and we had... connected. Sort of. It was perhaps the only time we'd gotten along for more than five minutes. Or maybe the affair had taken only about five minutes. 

It was still something to be unhappy about. Lunch ended today much as it had yesterday with everyone except Kouga, Kagome and myself shuffling out. Kouga caught my eye several times before standing, albeit reluctantly, and making an excuse to go. Perhaps I was making him uncomfortable, I sincerely hoped so. He too scampered away leaving only Kagome and myself but she seemed dead set on ignoring me. Very well, if that's the way she wanted things. 

I stood and left her. Let her be as childish as her heart demanded, I could care less. Yet when I didn't hear her footsteps behind me I slowed and dared to look back. She _wasn't _following. I frowned again. What was with her? Was she going to be this way *all* the time?! I hadn't realized I'd stopped, just looking back at her through the open dining room doors until she looked up. I told myself to turn and walk away, leave her sitting there. She wanted it, so why not? 

Yet I wasn't moving. My feet were going nowhere. I watched her stand, tucking and adjusting her kimono looking pointedly at everything but me, and then padding quietly out the door. I stood, stiff, wondering where she was going. Would she stop in front of me? Would she continue on? Would she stay at my side? What would she do? 

I was, I told myself, no longer going to be surprised. After all, would could she possibly do, break into song? She stopped in front of me, and looked up, almost defiantly.

"Are you going to act like a child all day?" 

"You told me not to speak, " she replied primly.

"I told you not to babble on incessantly."

She crossed her arms. "Same thing." 

I was not going to argue with her. I wasn't going to talk to her at all, I suddenly decided, spinning and walking away. She followed, I expected her to. I wasn't sure where I was walking to, I'd decide when I got there. Maybe then I would know. But she still followed me in my listless wandering. My feet led me to the back door and from there through the garden toward the back wall and the brick pillars. There had once been a structure here but it was gone now, only the pillars had remained although no one could remember why. 

Tomorrow would be the eve of our wedding and I started thinking back. I wondered why my father had put that stupid clause in his will about me marrying Higurashi Kagome - mentioned explicitly by name no less. Perhaps he knew I would not be married by this time, and here I had never considered myself to be predictable. Yet he had been my father, my sole parent for my childhood years and beyond. To the point of his death just last year. Perhaps, to him, I was to an extent, predictable. 

I could not hear her, but I imagined her to be there, somewhere beyond my vision behind me. Perhaps staring at my back - maybe looking around. To my knowledge she has not been in the garden, there is really no one around for her to talk to. The girl has no friends, minus Kouga should he be considered one. The girl, Sango, the maid was much too busy to be hanging around with her, so she really had no one.

I suppose it hadn't been much of a help to either her or I that I'd sent a lump of money, inconsequential to myself, but that would in a way obligate her family to sending her to me. They did as I expected and per my request she had arrived, with all her things, two days later. The 'things' however were promptly disposed of and she was quickly provided with a new set of garments. Those rags she brought with her were unsuitable for being my companion. 

"Kagome," I drawled lazily, not turning at all toward her.

"What?" Her tone was unfriendly. She was still angry with me. Two days, I thought. In two days I would have her to myself, she would be forced to endure me whether she wanted to or not. I frowned, turning slightly to view her. She was leaning back against one of the pillars, her eyes cast off in one direction opposite of me. Was this going to be a disaster? 

I worried, briefly, that our upcoming union would be a debacle. It would not serve well for either of us if our first night was more difficult than need be and she wasn't helping any by refusing to talk to me. Although I moodily reminded myself it was what I had wanted in the first place. 

I did not worry very much over our physical union. She was young and inexperienced and a woman's body could be manipulated very easily if one knew how. Lucky for her she had no idea what she was getting herself into with me, and she would fall easily at my hands. Yet, as before mentioned, it wasn't that, that bothered me. It was before, it was after. What was I to do with her? 

I hadn't a clue. I had never had to keep a female around just to keep her. I had never had a female companion. I had never been friends with a woman before. I had lovers, I had servants that was that. She would be both and she would be neither. She was to be my wife, a woman that was to have an elevated status to me and here I had no idea how to handle her. 

"Our wedding is the day after tomorrow." I stated. She knew it already, so did I. "Is there anything you wish to say before?" 

"Oh?" she turned, leveling a mocking glare at me. "*Now* you want me to talk?" 

She scoffed and turned her nose up at me. I wasted no time in eliminating the space between us trapping her back against that pillar. With one hand wrapped smoothly underneath her chin I tilted her gaze up to me. "This level of behavior is not suitable." 

"What do I care what you think is suitable?" she snapped defiantly.

I was tempted to frown, my fingers tightened convulsively around her chin as she tried to escape my grip. 

"Well look who it is..."

I drew away slightly at the foreign voice turning my eyes toward the unwelcome visitor. Kikyo, how unpleasant. She was the last person I wanted to see. She was the last person I *ever* wanted to see. Although quiet and respectful, the woman had an arrogance that annoyed me. Her eyes were not on me however but on her younger half sister, the one currently in my grip.

"I apologize for interrupting, Sesshoumaru-sama." She replied, ignoring Kagome although they were staring right at each other.

Kagome kept her mouth shut, just staring, and Kikyo returned the icy look.

Wonderful - these two would be living under the same roof and they appeared to hate one another. Just what I need, more people to baby-sit. I frowned. I had known Kikyo for some years now, my brother had been courting her for a rather long time. I had not known, or cared, that she and Kagome were related until recently. Even now it mattered not to me although their resemblance to one another was striking.

I was glad in a way though, that I had ended up with Kagome. She was much more expressive - Kikyo seemed so much like a cold fish. I couldn't imagine sharing a bed with that one, not half as much as I now realized I looked forward to it with her, Kagome. 

She turned, sidling off, leaving us alone again. I was glad for it. I suddenly wanted all her attention on me. 

"What was that?" I inquired, dropping her chin from my hands.

"What was what?"

"*That*," I snapped. "With her."

"*That* wasn't anything. We don't get along, that's all. I don't see what business it is of yours anyway."

"I will be your husband the day after tomorrow, everything about you is my business."

"Like hell!" she snapped. 

She quickly followed up the comment with a scathing remark immediately impacting my pride. My anger was ignited immediately setting me aflame, scorching the words out of memory as my body reacted automatically to the stimuli and I struck her. 

She didn't fight it, perhaps in shock as she was slammed back against the pillar and her knees gave out from under her. She collapsed into a heap upon the ground. I immediately regretted it, but it was too late to take it back now. I shouldn't have hit her, she looked utterly crushed. I couldn't take it back however and she would not know I was the slightest remorseful over it. I was the master of this household, she would be wise to learn it. 

I moved slightly to pull her to her feet but she brushed me off with a vicious look in her eyes and a bite to her tone.

"Don't touch me."

I made to reply she was mine, I would do whatever I damn well pleased, but decided not to. If she merely submitted this wouldn't be so much trouble. But I begrudgingly admitted if she did that I was not likely to be half as interested in her as I was. I walked away, determined to leave her alone. It seemed to be what she wanted anyway. 

I left her, but strangely enough she haunted me all day long. I couldn't get her out of my head. All I could think about was her there on the ground. What was she doing? Who was she with? Despite how many times I told myself I could care less about her welfare I couldn't help wonder. Was she okay? 

I was not concerned for her well-being. No, rather, I couldn't help the feeling that I had... damaged her. I spent the day on tenterhooks, although I hated the expression, waiting for her to appear. I couldn't go to her - I'd be damned if I, the master, was giving in and going to see how she was. It was her fault to begin with. So I waited and wondered... and suffered in my curiosities.

I was able to see her, finally, at dinner time. She was dressed as she normally did, nothing extravagant, shunning the silk I had provided for her in lieu of more common fabrics. I resisted the urge to nag at her about it. She didn't so much as acknowledge I was in the room. Her eyes never traveled from the set direction she'd placed them in. Everyone around her was tense given Kagome's normally jovial attitude. After dinner she made to avoid me once more, and I allowed it, merely watching her go.

I raised a glass of wine to my lips savoring the bitter sting it left in my throat. Tomorrow was another day. I sighed. Tomorrow I'd try again. Although what I was trying I hadn't a clue.

* * *

I rose early, before dawn as was my typical schedule. It helped that I had not been able to sleep. It was the official eve of my wedding. I wondered in silence how I was supposed to feel about it. 

As typical whenever thoughts of my wedding surfaced the unavoidable thoughts of _her_ surfaced as well. I had spent the night tossing and turning, irritable with myself for thinking of her. Yet I couldn't stop. 

In my daydreams I didn't realize I had veered off my daily path until I noted a certain hall. The hall where her room was located. Once I realized where my feet had unknowingly taken me I did not turn back. It was the eve of my wedding. Tomorrow she would be _officially _mine. 

I boldly opened her door and stepped inside. 

No one save the servants were awake at this hour. Aside from that she was mine, I reminded myself. Damn what everyone else thought. 

I closed the door behind me taking note of her room. It was much in the same state as when I had given it to her. Her things were off to one side as though she dare not personalize the room fearing her stay was but temporary or that she somehow felt like an intruder and was not comfortable with her surroundings.

She, the girl herself, was lying asleep bundled up in dully colored blankets. Raven colored hair spilled out from beneath one end of the heavy fabric. Dark, wavy, _beautiful _rivulets of hair spilled over the bedding onto the floor. A black, inky puddle that was so utterly feminine and attractive I had to simply stop and take in the sight of her.

I suddenly regretted striking her all the more. 

What a fragile creature she was. Yet you could never tell if the lioness had her eyes open, I thought.

I stepped further into the chamber glancing around. Wholly unimpressive really. I hadn't gone out of my way to lavish her in beautiful things. I had not seen the point. 

I wondered then, why? Why hadn't I?

Was it because she was already mine? I was not courting her, she was already secured as my bride, so perhaps there was no need to win her to me? No need to impress? Perhaps, her, like all other things in my estimation was not worth the time? 

Hmm... perhaps it didn't matter at all.

So many possibilities, none of which I was interested in thinking out. Not now, and later they probably wouldn't matter.

As though on some invisible cue she seemed to stir in her bedding, rousing toward wakefulness. It seemed some strange occurrence as though my presence disturbed her little sphere of peace in this room. The notion was ridiculous, but I was still thinking it. 

The blanket rolled back via a languorous arm and dark eyelashes fluttered. Her dainty little mouth opened wide in a yawn, as she blinked her eyes, peering around her, not seeing me. She ran a hand through her dark locks, scratching her scalp and then yawned once more, muttering something about 'stupid mornings'. 

I was disappointed to see a purple mark on one cheek where I'd hit her the previous day. She'd be bruised on our wedding day. We were not even married yet and I'd already hurt her. 

I finally saw fit to draw her attention to me, my movement immediately catching her eye. She clutched her blankets and pulled them up to her chest protectively as though she were naked behind the cloth.

She wasn't.

The action was unnecessary and only served to draw my attention to her attire, which she had undoubtedly been trying to conceal. A simple yukata, nothing fancy. Not surprising. She had shunned the few, very few, fanciful gifts I'd given her.

Few but precious, I thought, thinking of how the expensive gifts had been completely wasted on her and yet I could really care less about it. They were hers to do as she wished.

When the shock faded from her eyes I was displeased to see anger had replaced it. 

She suddenly scoffed at me. "Lose interest in your harem?"

I blinked. 'Harem'? How had she come to know such a foreign word? 

"What harem?"

She turned her head away snidely. "Ayame, Tsubaki and the lot." 

Ah, that's what was bothering her? I failed to see her point. 

"What about them?"

"What about them?" she snapped, clearly outraged. This time she leapt from her bed giving no thoughts to her bedclothes. "You say that so casually! As though I did not see you practically leap upon them before I was barely out the door." 

I blinked again. What? 

Had I the character for it, I might have broken into a chuckle, but she was so perfectly serious. It left me feeling heavy and confused. She had obviously made some mistake, for she'd seen me with no woman last night and certainly not one of those hussies who paraded around me. 

It was interesting however, was she jealous? Was a jealous wife a good thing, or a bad thing? I didn't know. 

"Out what door?"

"Don't play coy," she snapped. "Your bedroom!"

That was a surprise. If she had walked in my bedroom she was likely to have found me with a woman, not uncommon for me. Yet last night I had been alone in my room. I had, since the beginning of the week avoided any liaisons with the women I normally frequented. Since I had discovered I desired my soon to be bride physically I put other women off wanting to wait until I could savor her. The fiery woman before me that wanted to snap my head off.

I quirked my lips up into a smug grin that only angered her more.

"Were you impatient for me?" 

Husky and seductive tones always worked. I wasn't disappointed, her anger visibly dimmed only to be sparked back to life by her indignation at my comment. She seemed to be at a momentarily loss for an answer, her cheeks flushing with anger.

"If you were so eager for us to become lovers, you should have stepped up and said so. Were I truly with a courtesan the previous evening, I would have dismissed her for you." 

My words had the desired effect and she promptly flew into another rage. It was delightful to see a woman with such spirit. It was an usual thing given the demure manners of most of the women in my court only wishing to please me. This girl seemed like she wanted a rip a hole through me. 

"You wish!"

"Wishing is unnecessary, you will be mine tomorrow. Or today if I wish it." I purposely gave her a slow once over glance and she blushed straight to the roots of her hair. 

"If you wish it?" 

I nodded once, almost imperceptibly. "Now would be suitable."

I stepped forward and she stepped back until she'd plastered herself to the wall. I wondered if she cared she'd made my job easier by trapping herself there. 

I proceeded toward her, unsure if I actually intended to carry anything out at the moment, especially with her giving me such a terrified expression. Just as I was about to close in on my prey staring up at me wide-eyed the door slid open and in walked the maid, Sango.

"Oops!" She exclaimed. "Please excuse me, my lord. I didn't know you were ... um.... here." 

The arrival of the maid however caused something to click back into place with my young quarry and her fearful expression vanished. I grinned smugly.

"Do not think she has saved you. Tomorrow there will be no interruptions." 

* * *

Author's Notes: Hmm.... yes, well that's chapter two. I almost kept writing, I really need to watch my chapter length more closely. 

Prisoner, My Prisoner 13 - This chapter will be a little while. I'm doing some planning for it, trying to figure out how to end it. 

I am working though, on this "In Terms of a Shadow" and a one shot called "Forgiven" which is an interesting story. I just need to peg down a suitable ending, edit and post it. Unfortuantely things that sound simple very rarely are. Not to mention I've been incredibly busy. 


	3. Part III

In Terms of a Shadow

Part III

Author: profiler120

Email: profiler120@hotmail.com 

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome 

Summary: How dare he? He'd bought her, the jerk! Paid off her mother *knowing* she couldn't refuse the money and all he wanted in return was to marry her daughter. It sounded innocent - it wasn't. If that wasn't bad enough her betrothed was a beautiful, but heartless man who had no interest in her and regarded her, loosely, as his property. 

Author's Note: (...) I've been reading romance novels. I've read... I think 6 in the past 5 or 6 days. I think they are affecting my writing, this story in particular even though I've started writing my own romance. If I ever finish the thing (a lofty idea) I'll place it up at fictionpress. I'm writing it mostly to relieve the insane need to pen my own these books are inspiring in me. 

I sat down to write today and was looking over chapter 4 only to realize I'd finished it. So I was thinking 'oh! I should post chapter 3!'.

* * *

This chapter has been [minorly] revised. Thank you to: StoicStella, AutumnFire, Familia-Ficz, and Kidoairaku - who contributed specific errors to be corrected. 

* * *

Reviews: 

Fanatic - _Am I raising the rating to 'R' -_ Um... No. I was tempted to for a while, but I won't, not after this chapter. 

Massao28 - No, no, there's no harem. I remember something about that, but I think Kagome was just irritated and assuming things. 

Yes Ayame does have a thing for Kouga but I can't help putting her in the with Sesshoumaru admirers. ^_^ I keep thinking she'd ditch Kouga for Sesshoumaru. How many people wouldn't? 

These chapters are shorter than some of my others which is actually much easier for me to manage. 

Sissi - It's probably horrible of me, but Kouga is so convenient. I never write Kouga actually ending up with Kagome. Of course I do the same to Inuyasha. 

Cutiepie99 - Everyone's human in this fic. AU all the way.

Kikitravel - Sesshoumaru very well may be a bit OOC. I figure Sesshoumaru would be possessive of what he considers to be his and Kagome is his by his father's will and her family's agreement. Chapter number is important however considering I hope this isn't as long as my others, 10-12 chapters although things aren't looking good. I'm already starting 5. ****

taiyoukai-kai - Is she going to be that way all the time? Angry and cynical? *shrugs* I have no specific plans for this, I don't remember why I started writing it to be perfectly honest.

kokonutsu - Kah! Did I write those women actually being his mistresses? I don't remember... I certainly never intended it that way. Okay, well maybe I did but now it won't work. 

If you were getting married to a guy wouldn't you be upset he kept a whole goggle full of women to 'pleasure him'. I would. I figured Kagome definitely would. 

* * *

Fascinating wasn't typically a word I'd use to describe the fluidly graceful lord I was to marry. He was arrogant, prideful, violent, and insensitive. I sighed heavily. There was no way out of my present conundrum, I'd been thinking for days. What could I do but surrender to him? 

I couldn't forget he'd hit me. Hard. It'd hurt. It left a nasty purple bruise on my cheek. But I also couldn't forget I'd deserved it. I was completely out of line and I had yet to forgive myself for making such a remark.

It was cruel of me to remark on his mother the way I had. I could still see the awful expression on his face as I commented on his mother not loving his father and how that wasn't surprising. Cruel.

Since when was I a cruel person? 

I sighed heavily and stepped outside. I hadn't expected to find him in my chambers this morning, but I ought to get used to it. Soon enough I'd be waking next to him. 

It was cool out but generally pleasant. The back courtyard opened up into a forested area that looked scenic so I headed toward it wandering into the woodland. It was nice, I loved the smell of nature. It was fresh and clean.

Birds chirped in the canopy overhead while crickets chirped on the ground below. A gentle wind rustled through the trees sweeping past me. I loved being outside. I heard a distant rumble and realized rain was probably close but it didn't lead me to turn back. I kept on. 

I paused momentarily to glance back at the castle, I hoped I didn't get lost in here, but it wasn't incentive enough for me to head back. 

Not even when the wind turned chilly and foreboding did I take the hint and return. I kept on, foolishly, throwing myself into the wild, walking onward. The wind kicked up, ravishing the trees above sending the drying leaves spiraling off into a crazy, downward dance and then skating across the ground.

It was creepy almost. That I was alone out in the middle of the woods, a storm on the verge of breaking. 

"Higurashi."

My name. It was a harsh whisper on the breeze. I turned to face the man who'd voiced it and paused, taking in the very breathtaking sight of him. I'd never imagined a man could be beautiful and yet Masaharu Sesshoumaru was the epitome of the word.

Gleaming cold eyes, perfect skin and silken strands of hair - he was perfect. I, standing before him, realized dumbly I was completely unworthy of such a trophy. Yet his sour personality was a hefty counterbalance to those looks, as one might expect it to be.

"Sesshoumaru-sama." My voice sounded stale, and hollow to my ears. I almost winced. What was wrong with me? Why did I feel so wistful and disconnected? So... apathetic? 

"What are you doing out here?"

"Walking," I replied, needlessly. He could see I was walking well enough. Then again, he needn't have asked either.

"Find the palace to be too constricting, or are you just trying to find a means of escaping?"

His voice was harsh, colder than normal. Did he really believe I was so eager to abandon him? I turned to him, hoping my eyes were filled with a warmth I didn't presently feel.

"Of course not. I just wanted some air. There's... There's no one for me to talk to so I thought I would be just as well alone. That way no one is always looking at me, trying to see what I'm doing or whatever."

"Oh?" He cast his gaze away. "What of Kouga? You seemed entertained enough in his company." 

I sighed heavily. Petty jealousy, he obviously didn't understand I was lonely. Friendless, cast into a world where I was isolated by my status. Jerk.

"Kouga is... " I trailed off. What was Kouga? A pleasant way to pass the time? "Kouga is a pleasant distraction." 

Perhaps it was rude or... low or something, but it was what I felt. Kouga was a casual friend, not someone I was close to or that I could confide in. 

I was tempted to rouse more of what little jealousy he seemed to possess but thought better of it when I felt the rain droplets begin to spatter against my skin. Maybe it cooled my inner quarrel a bit, maybe I was just feeling depressed and the rain was a reminder.

I sighed heavily. 

"Why does it matter? What's your problem with Kouga anyway?" It seemed an innocent enough question. Sesshoumaru obviously did not like him.

"I do not suffer idiots."

I scoffed. "For something you don't tolerate there sure are enough of them around." 

For a moment I saw his lips quirk up into a small grin. That was before his eyes met mine however and the look vanished. I liked to think the amusement continued to dance in his eyes, but those gold orbs were unreadable to me.

"Such as?"  
I crossed my arms suddenly recalling a foul presence. "My half-sister, Kikyo."

His quick movements brought him to my side quicker than I would've imagined. "That isn't idiocy." He leaned down suddenly invading my space, his breath upon my face. "That's contempt." 

Just as quickly he drew away leaving me to stare after him, cheeks practically glowing red. 

"W-Where are you going?" I called.

"For a walk."

I was really half surprised he bothered to answer me. In my own idiocy I called out once more.

"It's going to rain."

Stupid, stupid, I chided myself. He knew it was going to rain. It was raining already although the small droplets had turned into a foggy mist it seemed. 

He, to my surprise again stopped, and looked back at me. "Idiocy, you say?"

I blinked. "Oh, shut up!" I scolded, wondering if I sounded like the child I currently felt like. He stared to move again, but the sight of him, walking away from me left me feeling even lonelier. "W-Wait!"

He obliged me, stopping and peering at me once more patiently. 

"Can I come?" My voice was a squeak, a small girlish tone devoid of any confidence. 

He, with the utmost authority turned fully to me and raised a hand, beckoning me to him silently. I followed dumbly, my feet thumping toward him as I walked. I felt graceless.

One perfect hand curled beneath my chin turning my face up to his and he leaned to be close to me.

"Tomorrow we will be wed, Kagome." He paused, eyes trained on mine. "I want to know, what do you think of that?"

"What do I think? I... I don't know."

"We are strangers to one another, but tomorrow we will join. It is my wish to know what you think of it. I desire to know what kind of emotional baggage you're bringing to my bed." He replied.

For a moment I couldn't even think. What did I say to that? I didn't know. I honestly didn't. I'd known him for, what, a week? I vaguely realized I'd shifted my shoulders into a weak shrug and he let me go, straightening.

"I am not a man to tolerate disobedience and certainly not from my wife. I expect quarrels from you but I will not allow you to bring them to soil our marriage bed. I will not be merciful to you if you do not heed my warning. Come to me angry and I will take you angrily." 

The thoughts gave me chills. How was I supposed to shake off anger at him so quickly? Anger at Sesshoumaru sent my blood racing through my body and rolling of me in wild waves of heat. 

He walked ahead of me silently and I helplessly trailed along. I felt as though something bound us now. It was something that hadn't been there before, but something certain and real was between us. Some... bond... other than our betrothal. 

Yet whatever unsearchable thing had formed, it was not an emotional bond. Not of the sort I had fancied when I was a girl. It was not love, or the blossoming of love although I had a sinking, but exciting rush when I thought there might be an underlying passion just waiting to ensnare me. Sesshoumaru was a deep and tempting pool and tomorrow he was dragging me under. I couldn't hold off the tremors that plagued me, but whether they were born of fear or anticipation, I could not know.

I had given up hope of conversation with him before I'd even considered the notion, but he again astonished me when his pace slowed and we were walking, side by side.

"What of Kouga?"

"Hmm? What about him?" 

He should be less abrupt, I thought but didn't bother voicing the sentiment.

"What do you think of him? Is he a desirable companion in your estimation?" 

"Kouga?" I paused to give the thought some contemplation. I honestly had never done so before. Perhaps Kouga's comment about my lack of beauty had immediately shut off any romantic thoughts I might have had about him. It seemed so unfathomable now to picture him that way. "Kouga is... Kouga. I like him but... He's not..."

"He's not what?"

"He's not you." I blurted, reddening. "The distance between you and Kouga is... endless." 

He stopped and I was forced to stop too. "You find _me_ a desirable companion?"

He sounded so genuinely earnest, as though he expected me to actually say 'no' when we both knew he didn't in the least doubt it. 

"Most of the time, no."

True enough, he had an attitude that would make even the blood of his most faithful admirers run cool. 

The rumbling was coming at quicker intervals now and at times shook the ground beneath my feet. An amazing feeling but one made me nervous to be outside.

"Can we go back now? The storm is getting close and it's probably not safe out here."

He held me a moment longer with his gaze before we headed back. In silence this time, significantly less space between us then when we'd first started. The cloth of my kimono sleeves brushed his, and although we both felt it, neither of us turned to one another. For different reasons I'm sure. 

There was a loose tension between us now, something just waiting to be drawn taut.

. . . 

Higurashi Kagome was a mystery to me. She was troublesome, thought provoking and surprisingly sweet when quieted down. I was not surprised by her admission that she was, basically, attracted to me. I _was_ surprised she was not drawn to Kouga given their easy discourse.

I was familiar with female attention; I'd gotten it all my life. I did not expect anything less from her she was female as well. Albeit she was a bit more difficult than the average girl.

Thoughts of her seemed to plague me endlessly now. I could not rid myself of her, of imagining her, sensual and soft in my bed. 

There was much more to my upcoming nuptials than her becoming my lover, but the need was great. It had been building in my all week and had only increased in ferocity each time I discovered she was more pleasant than previously realized.

I had not forgotten I had other things to deal with, her emotional state, and our actual relationship being primary. Until my passion was quenched, as was hers however unknowingly she carried it, everything else would lurk in the shadows. Even she, pure and chaste as she was thought of nothing but being with me, I did not have to be with her, or to see her to know it. 

Time coiled around us slowly, pulling us closer. Tomorrow the coil would snap, pushing us together completely. I found myself eager for the dawn. Today could and would not be over soon enough. 

* * *

The dawn greeted me cheerily and I found myself resentful of the birds chirping so happily outside my chambers. Today my bachelorhood was over, I would be a married man from this point forward, and yet I felt it really had little impact on me personally.

It was, in a sense, business. 

I discovered however that I was not the only one in a foul mood. I could hear Kagome's voice raised in anger at her attendants, who had, if I heard correctly roused the girl with water. I quirked a grin, resisting the temptation to head down the hall and see how she looked with her head and torso soaked. 

Undoubtedly a sight to behold but I did have a few preparations of my own to be attending to. 

I lost myself in the confusion allowing it all to blur by me. Evening vows and the ceremony were a breeze. I did vaguely remember watching Kagome's eyes carefully and wondering if she might be called a 'blushing bride' although she was not blushing. 

She did, in fact, look quite irritated. She'd snatched her hand from mine the moment we'd sat at our table and hadn't sought contact with me since. Not even as she rose and left the table with her changing of clothes did she acknowledge me. 

I couldn't imagine what I had done to upset her but I would find out. 

. . . 

"Miss, er, Lady Kagome, everything is done." 

I turned back glancing at the servants and frowned at the stares I was getting. I wasn't sad to see them go. I waved them off and they shuffled away without another word. 

I was left alone in my 'husband's chamber'. Great, just what I wanted, to be alone with the, dare I say, maniac? 

I sighed heavily, unhappy. 

How did this happen to me? I felt like I was waiting for my executioner although I reminded myself time and again he wasn't going to hurt me. I had already run over the things I could do to get out of this situation a million times and hadn't successfully thought of anything. I couldn't plead sick, he would see through it in a minute. I couldn't pretend to be asleep he'd wake me. I couldn't go to another room, he come looking for me. I couldn't run away - that was utterly beneath me. Yet here I was grasping at straws to get away.

Behind me I heard the door slide open and my heart began to pound, followed by a low, seductive little chuckle. 

"Waiting up for me?" 

I turned, anxiously. He stood by the door, almost leaning against the thin frame. His gold eyes seemed to glow with intensity and I shuddered. Oh... 

"Uh... no, I just..." 

I couldn't even think of something to say, let alone how to get away from him. 

"Couldn't sleep?" He offered.

I nodded dumbly, what else could I do? My heart felt like it was going to explode and I was sure the moment he did anything slightly close to moving I was going to blush and turn into a mass of jitters.

How awful.

He pushed away from the wall suddenly in a move so full of grace I wondered how he'd managed to acquire it. I forced myself not to move and instead planted my feet heavy on the floor by the window where I stood.

Outside the wind was howling. It had been storming all day; luckily the wedding had been an indoor affair. Some had, to my dismay, taken the weather as a bad omen. I silently cursed them all for making it a more difficult moment than it had to be. 

My mother and family were present although I'd gotten very little time to see them. I'd been embroiled in one circle of people after another since the ceremony ended. Then I'd been whisked away by my attendants and 'prepared' for my wedding night.

I thought back with a scowl at the bath and perfumes, linens and bedclothes. What a waste of - he stepped up, looming in front of me. How could my thoughts wander while my 'husband' was stalking me? 

"Uh... Sesshoumaru... I don't suppose we could... um... delay this? I'm not really ready." 

I sounded entirely too hopeful.

"There is no need." He replied dropping his mouth down by my ear. 

"Well... I wouldn't necessarily say-"

"Are you so terrified of me, Kagome?"

He lifted his head, meeting my eyes. "How is a person supposed to be reassured when you are staring at me like you want to sink your teeth in me or something?"

I congratulated myself on not sounding nervous, but it didn't matter how I sounded. I still *felt* it.

I was startled then when he laughed, a low, and almost frightening sound. "Nice thought, but its not my teeth I want to sink into you." 

My eyes widened and I plastered myself back against the wall-taking note of his eyes before the space between him and me was suddenly gone. 

* * *

I blinked, eyes fluttering open once more as I heard a muffled set of words and then felt her shift at my side. 

"Was that directed at me or do you talk to yourself in the morning?" 

Kagome, it seemed, was a late sleeper. I however, was not, yet I had yet to leave my bed, and it had to be approaching noon at least. 

She mumbled something again, but I could not make anything out of it. 

It was an interesting thing. It had never happened to me before. 

The previous night hadn't been a debacle; in fact things went better than expected given the circumstances. Her nervous fear had been a predictable thing and while not that easily overcome, it had been done. 

She had not pulled away from me in utter disgust when the event was over; rather, to my surprise she'd stayed close. All in all it hadn't been my physical union with Kagome that kept me in my bed this morning, it had been exactly what had followed.

Her cuddling up to me the way she had, and sighing, falling off to sleep. She'd clutched to me all night. I had never, in my entire life, known such a thing. She'd slept perfectly contented. I could not help but wonder was she content with me, or was she merely a content person while she rested? 

Despite that, it gave me a sense of warmth I had never experienced before. Not the warmth being generated from our bodies but an internal warmth, something akin to security. Perhaps I was being lulled into Kagome's contentment? 

I could hardly deny the fact I was enjoying merely laying here. It was comfortable, it was warm, and to top it off, she smelled nice. There was nothing quite so pleasing as breathing in the pleasant scent of a companion - it was amazingly relaxing.

She pulled slightly back from me, eyes fluttering open again, yawning. 

"Morning," she mumbled.

I briefly wondered if that's what she'd said the previous two times she'd spoken.

She didn't say anything after that and I began to worry slightly. I quite enjoyed silences, but they seemed unnatural for Kagome. I contemplated asking her if something was wrong when she turned to lie on her back, disengaging completely from my loose embrace. 

She had closed her eyes again and was merely lying there. Was she going to ignore me? 

When her eyes did open a moment later she was staring at the ceiling, and the expression on her face revealed her to be thoughtful over something. 

"Sesshoumaru...?" 

"Hmm?"

I was feeling incredibly lazy, I realized. Or perhaps the moment was languid. I couldn't remember a time when my body felt so heavy and relaxed. 

"I just..." She looked over at me. "It'll probably sound silly and girlish but I wanted to thank you. I worried..." She looked back up to the ceiling. "I worried all week... you know... about last night, and well... Thanks for being so... nice... about it." 

It hadn't been what I was expecting but it was amusedly charming, especially with that blush staining her cheeks. What an interesting female she was. 

It made me wonder just how much of a ruffian she expected me to be, but I didn't dwell on the notion. 

Kagome was an indescribable force but I quite enjoyed her. She had a pleasantness to her that wasn't intrusive. I was not one that enjoyed companionship or closeness but Kagome had an air to her that was non-threatening and non-judgmental. I could simply be' here with her without discomfort. It was new and most enjoyable.

Her contentment caused something to well within me that hadn't been there before. A desire perhaps to bind her closer to me by pulling her deeper into my life. That was all I could describe it as. Maybe I worried; deep down, that she like my mother would abandon me although I didn't entertain the thought seriously. What woman would abandon Sesshoumaru?

And yet, my mother had.

Either way, I had made up my mind. I sat up, surprisingly loathe to abandon my bed. Beside me, Kagome scrambled up as well, but with a cheerful yawn. Her eyes were bright, I liked that. 

I was not usually one for optimism, but I would not have her look at me any other way I thought then. 

"Get dressed, we're going out." 

Immediately her contentment wilted. "Going where?"

I spared her a cool gaze that belied my warm thoughts. "Do not ask question, move." 

She huffed, but complied, dragging with her the bed linens. I turned away before I could smirk at the sight. I could work on her modesty another day. One thing at a time, I reminded myself.

And today they were going to handle Rin. 

* * *

Author's Closing Notes: Mistakes? Errors? Opinion? Think Sesshoumaru is being OOC? Note it in a review. Criticism is welcome, but groundless remarks will be addressed and then ignored. 


	4. Part IV

In Terms of a Shadow

Part IV

Author: profiler120

Email: profiler120@hotmail.com 

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome 

Summary: How dare he? He'd bought her, the jerk! Paid off her mother *knowing* she couldn't refuse the money and all he wanted in return was to marry her daughter. It sounded innocent - it wasn't. If that wasn't bad enough her betrothed was a beautiful, but heartless man who had no interest in her and regarded her, loosely, as his property. 

Author's Note: 

* * * *

Snobbish, arrogant man, I thought. I sat beside him in the carriage, but I did so huffily. How dare he turn from sweet, seductive lover back into that cold, prideful dolt I couldn't stand? 

I turned my nose up and looked toward the window. He didn't even tell me where we were going. Jerk. Or better yet, ape. I liked the nickname for him. He didn't actually remind me of the wild, dark beast I'd heard about from a townsman by it's description, but I liked the word nonetheless. It made me happy, so it couldn't be bad.

The clattering, uneven journey ended surprisingly quickly. We had only gone a few miles. We pulled up to an elaborate house. I had never seen the place before, but not surprising.

I had been glowering for all I was worth on my first trip here some time ago, although it had been naught but a week or so. I stared at the place in silent wonder. What was it? Better yet, why had he brought me here? 

I had little time to wonder as the house door was thrown open and a small child came running down the path. Sesshoumaru preceded me out of the carriage and waited there as the child threw herself around his leg affectionately. He ignored her momentarily, holding out a hand stiffly assisting me down from the carriage.

The child seemed then to notice and looked over at me curiously. We simply stared at one another waiting for someone to say something. That particular duty fell to Sesshoumaru who was being stubbornly silent. 

Finally, irritated I turned to ask but he cut me off. "Kagome – this is my ward Rin. Rin, this is your new sister, Kagome." 

Ward? Sister? Was she Sesshoumaru's younger sibling? I stared down at her in wonder. The girl could hardly be more than five years old. I blinked.

Rin gave an awkward introduction, apparently having been informally taught and then skipped ahead, her attention diverted by someone at the door.

Sesshoumaru, surprising me, walked at my side slowly toward the door. "She's very young. Is she your sister?"

"She is. My father's only bastard child – or the only one that survived childbirth it seems. His mistress was one of the servants, a slight girl not built for birthing children." 

"Oh. Where is her mother now?"

"Dead. She didn't survive Rin's birthing, that's why she's here."

I looked up at the grand house. "What is this place?"

"An orphanage." 

"Oh." I replied again, wondering if that's all I'd be saying for a while. What a shock this all was. "It probably sounds impertinent or so but why are we here?" 

I paused on the stone walkway and he stopped with me, finally turning the gaze that had been stiffly straight ahead toward me. His eyes were alight with intensity.

"I want you to take care of Rin." 

"Really?" I asked dumbly looking toward the house contemplatively. "I've I've never taken care of a child before." I looked back at him with a reassuring smile. "But I will do my best for her." 

It seemed to be the response he wanted and we walked the rest of the way inside. In a matter of a half hour we were on our way back, Rin tagging along with us.

I watched her in silent wonder as she hung on Sesshoumaru's sleeve, hardly noticing he wasn't paying the slightest attention to her. The girl adored him, I thought. I wondered why she was so attached to him, but didn't dare ask in her presence.

"Kagome-chan!"

Her voice snapped me out of my reverie and I realized I'd been staring and that Sesshoumaru was looking at me curiously.

"Yes, Rin-chan?"

"Taro-chan, he's a boy at the house, he says that horses transform under the light of blue moons and sprouts wings and fangs and swoop down on people in rice fields in the night. It's not really true is it?"

I laughed, unable to contain my merriment at the thought. "Most certainly not," I assured her. "Do you like horses?" 

"I've only seen them from far away." She admitted. "Are they nice?" 

"I'm not much sure myself, but maybe if we have Sesshoumaru-sama's permission we might find out." 

Her eyes seemed to glow with happiness; both at the prospect of visiting with horses, but also at the thought that she needed her Sesshoumaru-sama's permission. It seemed to please her all the more I seemed to want his approval as well. Whatever made her happy I supposed. 

I was simply not about to go anywhere near a stable by myself or with the little girl _without _his permission, that was for certain. I hardly knew went on around a place like the palace. Sesshoumaru would know whether such was safe or not.

"Can we visit some horses Sesshoumaru-sama?"

He nodded silently. "I will arrange an escort for you." 

I smiled at her, but she was lost in her own happy little world. I silently wondered if this would be difficult. Sure, I had managed my little brother Souta but that was different. He was my brother, this girl was not a blood relation to me, and there were far more years between us. 

We arrived back in no time at all and someone I didn't know immediately led off Rin. I could only imagine where they were going. I stopped on the path, waiting for Sesshoumaru who had stopped to give orders to someone. He turned back and seemed not to have expected me to wait for him.

"Rin means a lot to you, doesn't she?" 

He didn't reply, but seemed to be searching my expression for something. Perhaps, sincerity?

"It just seemed a bit odd that you should care so much about a child that is not well"

"Rin cannot be blamed for the faults of her parents."

I smiled. "Do you say that because you are fond of her or because she is female? I can hardly see you being so accommodating if your half-sibling was a male child." 

"You now presume to tell me how I think?" He sounded more amused than annoyed at my assumption.

I shrugged. "It just seemed natural is all. Kikyo and I are half-siblings, but I don't loathe her because of her parentage. I detest her because she is miserable and arrogant."

He inclined his head a bit at the statement and we headed inside. He split off from me headed off to handle his business and I set about trying to track down Rin. I could hardly imagine I would soon be lost in a goggle of servants all calling out, "Kagome-sama!"

* * * *

Perhaps my father was a much more clever man than I ever surmised, I thought heading down to my chambers. I found, unpleasantly, my brother sitting awaiting me. I could only imagine what he wanted.

I sat, turning my gaze to Inuyasha as my mind drifted to Kagome. I remembered watching her, seeing her faraway look as she stared at Rin and myself. A small, purplish mark colored one cheek and I sorely wished it gone. 

Rin had not commented on it, but it would not do for her to see such things. I would not strike Kagome again.

"What do you want?"

He hadn't even said anything and already I was annoyed with him sitting there. Annoyed and disturbed because Inuyasha was never quiet in my presence, he was always wailing about something. 

Now that I looked at him, he seemed a bit pale. What had happened to unsettle Inuyasha? I suddenly had a very bad feeling I wasn't going to like it.

"Inuyasha?" 

His head snapped up. "I Kikyo's pregnant," he blurted out, looking ragged.

Well that wasn't the major calamity I expected but it explained Inuyasha's distraught state. "So?"

"So? What do you mean so'? She's going to have a baby!" he declared.

"I realize that. Why did you not marry the girl before you bedded her?"

Inuyasha shrugged impatiently. "What difference does it make? I intend to marry her, I thought that was good enough."

I blinked. Inuyasha had always seemed inept and awkward around women, I had not imagined him impatient, but he was young. 

"What do you want from me?" 

"Help. We weren't planning on wedding before next spring, but Kikyo wants to wed long before that."

I glanced down at my papers, no longer interested in this conversation. "You want the marriage date moved?"

"Right." Inuyasha agreed.

"Very well. The beginning of next month is as quickly as it can be allotted. Wedding preparations are Kagome's responsibility, be sure to see her about that." 

I knew this was going to be a disaster before the door shut. Kikyo and Kagome planning a wedding while she tried to manage Rin and the household. I suddenly had a very grim image of my future. 

While I was certain she could handle Rin and the household I wasn't sure she could handle Rin, the household, wedding preparations and Kikyo all at the same time. I silently prayed she had the strength for it as to keep a fiasco from boiling over even though I suspected the effort was wasted.

I stood. Perhaps I could avert this disaster in the making. All I had to do was find Kagome before Inuyasha did. 

I found her easily enough; their laughter had immediately given them away. They were sitting in a sewing room while Kagome and the girl played in the reams of silk that the seamstress used for clothes making. 

"Kagome." 

The sharp tone of my voice caused her frame to stiffen and her smile to fade.

"Yes?"

There seemed hardly any reason for not speaking in front of the child so I pushed onward. "Inuyasha's wedding is being advanced to the beginning of the following month. You will need to prepare everything."

"M-me? I've never planned a wedding before."

"There's a lot of things you haven't done before," I replied dismissively. "You'll learn. What I came here about was your sister."

"Half sister," she corrected primly. 

Again I ignored the technicality. "You and she will be preparing everything. It is her wedding but you are in charge of the project. Keep her and your irritable temper in check. Got it?"

"You mean if we disagree she has to go with what I want?" 

"If you so choose." It was not my business if she wanted to make her sister miserable by plaintively overlooking her, but I did not care. I was paying for this event; Kagome was going to be in control of it.

She nodded. "I wouldn't do that, I just wanted to know. It is Kikyo's wedding after all. She can be as unpleasant and snooty as she wants to but I won't be petty about it," she declared with a smile. 

I was thankful for small miracles. I had no further business and went to leave only to end up having to pry myself away from an overly affectionate Rin as my unhelpful wife stared on in amusement.

* * * *

I sighed unhappy. I was two seconds from abandoning the entire project into Kikyo's grasp. Two seconds – I swore, but two things kept me from doing so. One, I suspected that Kikyo was trying to purposely get me to quit. Secondly, I all but promised Sesshoumaru I could handle this.

He had placed me in charge of the wedding and in charge I would be. Kikyo be damned I thought with a sudden well of pride. Of course, it wasn't that easy, but I liked to dream.

I couldn't imagine why Kikyo hated me; I only knew that she did. I, personally, had nothing against her but it was natural to react to someone with dislike when they acted that way around you. Even more so when they were adamant about it.

Presently I watched her. She was shuffling through items in a trunk. Frilly, fancy things she wasn't going to wear, but after a half hour of silence just watching she stood, closed the trunk and left. Without a word or glance as though I had never been there, but I refused to be angry. I told myself I wasn't. I wasn't going to let Kikyo's dismissive attitude get to me. 

I stood too, unsure of whether I should try to find her or just go about my way. The decision wasn't to be made as Rin suddenly came running into the hall.

She stopped, frozen like a frightened fawn as she spotted me.

"Rin-chan?" 

Hadn't I assigned Rin an instructor in my absence? Sure enough a few minutes later the young lady came charging around the corner. Presumably chasing after Rin, I thought with a wry smile. She too seemed startled at my appearance as though I were Sesshoumaru himself striking fear into the hearts of the servants.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well - I was trying to get Rin changed but she suddenly declared she didn't want to and ran off on me." The servant explained, folding her hands and turning her gaze to the floor meekly. "I apologize my lady."

I wondered if Kikyo would make trouble if I decided to take Rin outside. Then I wondered where Sesshoumaru was. Handling Kikyo was both easy and difficult. When she wasn't outright ignoring me she was saying something obnoxious.

I sighed heavily, reached for Rin taking her hand in mine, and marched off. Absently I called back dismissing the servant girl for the day. Perhaps Rin could warm Kikyo's heart, but I seriously doubted it.

We found her, but I wasn't sure we were any better off for it. She was sitting at a table looking at a scroll. She turned her gaze up as we stepped inside and then resumed reading. 

Spotting a servant arranging flowers I smiled affectionately at Rin and sent the small girl over to help. I could only hope it would keep her occupied.

"So here's where you disappeared to. What are you reading?" Trying to be friendly with Kikyo was like talking to a rock. A rock that wanted to smash you if it were an animate object. 

"Wedding etiquette." I was half surprised she bothered to answer. 

"Well, while you're currently speaking to me, why you seem to hate me so much? What have I ever done to you?"  
The look on her face when she looked up at me was pure vehemence and all my hopes for reconciling with her were dashed. Whatever it was that Kikyo had in her mind about me wasn't going to change. 

Rather than speak however she merely scoffed and stood up. "Stop following me around." 

"I am in charge of your wedding, I'm supposed to monitor you." 

"I will keep you informed." She replied primly before taking her scroll and marching off. 

Wonderful. I sighed heavily not at all encouraged with the way things were going. 

"Kagome-chan! Rin found this under the table." 

It was a small, padded box. Rin, without qualm, pulled off the lid and begin examining the contents. I made to scold her when I noticed it was full of paper leaflets. Writings?

I absently glanced at one and then gasped. They were Kikyo's! Kikyo's private writings, no less.

I told myself to put them back and immediately set about removing Rin's hands from the pages without wrinkling or tearing any. She pouted but moved on, heading back to the flower arranging, but instead of helping she dived beneath the table once more.

Unable to contain my curiosity however I succumbed to the temptation and took a glance over the page on top. It was a diary. A collection of her thoughts she kept in this box. I shouldn't read them, but Kikyo wouldn't talk to me.

"Inuyasha has been a god-send. Never have I felt more secure and loved than when I am with him. He's not very eloquent and he's the most immature male I've ever met but he's sweet. He really does care about me and I've decided that that's all that really matters. I want to be cared about. I want to be wanted and loved and Inuyasha gives me that. When we are alone I feel like I'm the only woman who exists for him, and then nothing else matters.

"It makes me hopeful for my future. Something I never was until I met him. I long to have a family of my own. A complete, loving perfect set unlike the fragmented world I was forced to live in. 

"Inuyasha will never abandon me. He will never leave me the way that worthless father of mine did." 

The page drifted off, and I assumed it continued on another sheet. They were all out of order and Kikyo would know they had been discovered I could only hope she wouldn't connect me to it.

I put them away and called Rin to take the box back to where she'd found it and to never touch it again. I proceeded into a lecture about how it was not right to invade other people's privacy and she half-listened before complying with my orders. 

Just as she was about to make more trouble for the servant girl still sorting flowers I called her back. Perhaps I could feed her and put her to sleep or something. I led her to the dining room thoughts a whirl. 

* * * *

It was impossible not to be distracted by the picture they made. Just two or so days ago Kagome and Kouga had been making me edgy with their playful manner toward one another but now that had gone. Now it was Kouga, Kagome, and Rin that were presently annoying me. 

I was giving serious thought to hacking off Kouga's head. He was entirely too cozy with _my_ family. I stood irritably. She was mine. Kagome was mine, as was Rin. They were both mine. _My_ females. 

I towered over the small group and Rin, ever loyal that she is, immediately leapt upon me. She curled herself around my leg sweetly saying something I wasn't remotely interested in. Kagome looked up.

"Want to join us?" She smiled amiably, innocently I thought wanting to curl my lips into a snarl and order Kouga off. Instead I sat, Rin plopping down beside me ignorant of the fact she was breaking etiquette and not caring one bit. 

Kagome stared at the girl between us for a moment as though she might correct her, but ultimately she let it go with a soft smile. 

"We've been talking about the Shikon no tama." Kagome supplied, sipping her soup. "Do you know of it, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"It is a myth," I declared. "One that is dangerous to perpetuate. It fills young men's heads with dreams of finding it and ultimately leads to their death when they fall off that mountain trying to get to it."

Kagome's demeanor seemed to dim. "Must you be so negative?" She murmured.

"Must you be so idealistic? Keep your feet planted in reality, I have no use for a wife so daydreams the day away." 

She did frown at that, turning her gaze away. I was saved having to hear or say anything as a noisy procession appeared at the entryway. My brother and his entourage, half of which were already drunk came swaying through the doorway.

Whispers stirred and the party seemed to lose their jovial spirit as they realized I was within the room with my new bride. Kagome watched them, clearly curious.

"Who *are* those people?" She asked. "Wasn't that the same group I encountered a few mornings ago? Do they always drink so early?" 

"My brother is the type to enjoy all night parties with plenty of alcohol. Your sister seems content enough to follow him around."

"Why do you allow that?" She turned to me. "And she's my half-sister." 

I grinned. She was really going to make a point of that 'half-sister' thing, wasn't she? 

"Their drunkenness today is a special occasion. My brother is celebrating his impending fatherhood." 

Kagome blinked. "Fatherhood?" She mused aloud. "He's... " She paled leaning toward him. "Is Kikyo pregnant?"

"Didn't she tell you?"

She glared. "Kikyo doesn't tell me anything." 

Silence enveloped us for a few minutes. Kouga seemed to have shrunk away and after a few more minutes he asked to be excused and was given leave to do so. Kagome looked up once more.

"Do you drink also?" 

Our eyes met in an intense stare. I suddenly felt as though I were being appraised. Did she want to know the kind of man she had for a husband? Was she wondering if I were a rowdy, abusive drunk? Did she fear for our future children?

"No, I do not." 

The answer seemed to please her, or relieve her, I wasn't sure. "Do you?"

I doubted she did, as Kagome hardly seemed the type. "No. My father always said it was not for ladies to drink, only weak willed men lost themselves in the bottle." 

I'd been right then. She *had* been appraising me. Rin had been unusually silent and I glanced to her to find her snoozing lightly, head swaying as she drifted between wakefulness and sleep.

"Maybe she needs a little nap then." 

I thought she would rise and take Rin away but she lingered. Something had to be on her mind then, and if I were right she would be addressing it once she gathered her courage.

"Sesshoumaru... Who are those women? The ones at your table over there?"

Was she jealous? 

"Servants. My father started the tradition of sharing his table with the kitchen servants. He was very picky about his food and they were there to serve him."

"So... am I... " She knotted her hands in the napkin in her lap. "Am I the only woman you..."

I raised a brow curiously.

"Am I the only woman you share a bed with then?"

What did that mean? Now? Previously? Later? What was I supposed to say?

"At present?" 

She nodded. 

I nodded once. One might have though I ignored the question had they not been paying careful enough attention the nod was so slight, but she seemed to understand. 

"Do you want to be the only one?" I presumed she did, but one could never be certain what lurked in the female mind.

She nodded. 

Words it seemed had escaped us both.

* * *

Massao28 - All right, glad to hear you're back! ^_^ College isn't killing me, I've gotten used to it now. 

StoicStella - Ah, you are so observant, that's great! I made the revisions you pointed last chapter, thank you. ^_^ 

Tsuki no Tennyo - I hate writing about weddings, I always skip them. They're so... boring. 

kokonutsu - Did I write she loved him anywhere in there? I don't remember, if I did, I didn't mean to. Kagome is trying to adjust - unless you mean the early cuddling scene. Wouldn't it be quite leisurely to wake up next to someone? *thinks* What exactly do you mean? I'm baffled.


	5. Part V

In Terms of a Shadow

Part V

Author: profiler120

Email: profiler120@hotmail.com 

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome 

Summary: How dare he? He'd bought her, the jerk! Paid off her mother *knowing* she couldn't refuse the money and all he wanted in return was to marry her daughter. It sounded innocent - it wasn't. If that wasn't bad enough her betrothed was a beautiful, but heartless man who had no interest in her and regarded her, loosely, as his property. 

Author's Note: Welcome to my fic. Although I shouldn't be welcoming you since this is chapter 5.

* * *

I sighed again. How was I supposed to deal with this child? Rin was a typical girl her age, or so I would guess. I knew little about children.

But Rin was a terror. The girl had done over the hall with Sesshoumaru's ink painting pictures over the murals on the doors. 

That wasn't even the worst of it, and then she'd gotten a hold of a dagger and ripped through a trunk of clothing. Whose clothing it was I hadn't even figured out yet. Then she'd tossed rice at her companion in the dining hall. Only to subsequently get angry when scolded by Kouga and pronounce him to the entire court as 'a big fat head'.

I hung my head shamefully. What was I supposed to do with this girl?

"You need to punish her." 

I looked up. 

"She will never listen to you unless you set the rules and if you do not reel in the girl others will also doubt your authority. If you are going to be the Lady of the Western Lands, start acting like it."

"I don't know how to punish her. What do I do? Make her do chores or spank her?"

"Both," Kikyo replied readily. "Children need to know what is unacceptable. It's especially important here at Court for them to behave. Sesshoumaru will not want her running around like a wild child. It will ruin her chances for marriage, despite her good connections, if she grows up to do whatever she likes." 

I nodded. Naturally Rin's chastity would be doubted then. Rin had to be disciplined but I wasn't going to like it. Me or Rin.

* * *

It was a cute scene, watching them, Kagome and Rin. So like mother and daughter they seemed and I wondered if my family could be as pleasant with her. 

I could imagine her as she was now with Rin. Guiding, teaching our children. It was a pleasantly warm thought. I'd never given the matter much time before now.

I'd never spent any time contemplating how my family life would be; I'd never expected to have one. I'd simply figured I would marry; my wife would bear me a son, and then take care of that son without any help from me other than what was necessary.

It was the wifely duty to care for children - as Kagome was now doing. Only caring for a child wasn't quite what I'd imagined. It wasn't something to watch impassively.

It was something altogether different. Something encompassing - something that left you feeling warm and complete. Rin was not even my daughter and I felt altered merely by watching them together.

Perhaps I was longing for the family I had never had. I who had never been loved by a mother but tended to by servants and shuffled around between various caretakers as the years past.

Kagome smiled as she watched Rin up on the horse, the head groom was walking along guiding the gentle animal. It was perhaps the most sweetly tempered mare in the stable - a perfect choice for Rin.

I did not miss the fact Kagome shyly kept her distance from the animal and kept tossing it uneasy looks.

I wondered if she was afraid of them. I made a mental note to remember that. It would be nice to spend some time with her doing something pleasant. 

Kagome wandered over to stand by the fence, her eyes peering around the stable yard as she looked away from Rin. There were few people around - and those who were, were all males. A fact that didn't escape me. 

I kept my gaze sharp on her even more keenly when I noticed the young male at the corner fence post staring straight at her. He cast a friendly smile and I watched Kagome blush in response and look away.

I frowned. 

That would not do.

I was about to go directly to her when I noticed the appearance of yet another person. A female. 

Kikyo, I realized with sudden and perfect clarity.

The hostility between them was immediately apparent as both stiffened. To my surprise, however, Kikyo walked straight toward Kagome. I could only wonder what was going on from my vantage point.

* * *

"It does not look like punishment to me." 

I blinked.

"I can't punish her all the time." I replied, crossing my arms. "Besides she looked so cute."

Kikyo frowned. "How do you intend to run the household? The servants will walk all over you." 

I unsuccessfully tried to think of something to combat that, and couldn't. "I don't know how to deal with servants. I've never known any!" 

Kikyo merely looked away as though unimpressed with the excuse.

"Ah... Kikyo?" The sharp gaze of my sister flickered toward me. "Sesshoumaru told me you were pregnant."

The intensity of her eyes only seemed to grow stronger. "So?"

I smiled. "I guess you must be very happy. I merely wanted to congratulate you. I ... I guess I'll be having a child of my own sooner or later. The idea makes me very nervous but you seem like you can handle anything." 

Kikyo's expression seemed to dim. "You aren't really what I expected you to be." 

I blinked. "What?" 

"My mother never spoke kindly of you or your sibling. I did not know however what a black hearted woman my mother became until many years later."

"A black hearted woman?" I repeated, somewhat in awe. 

"My mother was a miko when she was young - but she was heartbroken by our father's leaving her. He could not break his engagement to your mother, he was honor bound to marry her and no one knew of his affair with my mother. She, being the kind of woman she was then hid herself away to keep from damaging his reputation and soiling his vow to marry your mother, but that changed years later. She became a black miko and wandered."

"Wow..." I breathed. "But... why are you telling me? I mean, not that I'm unhappy or anything. It just seems odd you suddenly want to talk to me and all. My mother never said bad things about you. She didn't like to talk about it at all, she still doesn't. She always gets this sad look in her eye so I stopped mentioning it." 

Silence fell between us, my question unanswered.

"I have no intention of falling the way of my mother. My opinion of you was wrong - and so I wished you to know I am rescinding it."

I wondered if that was as close to an apology as I was going to get for all the years of uneasiness between us. Instead of asking I smiled. "Don't worry about it. It's sad though - I don't imagine you were very happy when you were little. My mother always said to me 'never blacken your child's ears with bad talk of their relatives even if you despise them. It will only ever hurt them.'" 

It was Kikyo this time who looked surprised. "Good words, I will remember that." 

I nodded. 

Kikyo headed off without another word and I merely watched, momentarily forgetting about Rin. Kikyo was icy - but beneath that exterior mask I believed and seemed to be right about her good heart. She must have had a hard childhood.

Although I didn't expect to win Kikyo over easily I determined I would. Kikyo and Sesshoumaru. 

With a triumphant, happy smile I turned back to Rin. Things were going well.

* * *

Two short hours later I was all smiles in the garden. I'd learned from a passing kitchen staff there was an herb garden in the back. I'd headed out only to find the place in utter disarray.

Without a moment's thought to the matter I'd bent to my knees and began working the weeds out of the once grand beds.

I couldn't imagine how it had come to be in such a horrible condition, but everyone was so busy. I figured no harm could come to my assisting. I was, after all, head of the domestic household in a sense.

Rin had been sent away with an instructor and firm guidelines on her behavior. The next time she misbehaved she was going to be cleaning out the stables.

Granted, a girl of her size could not really do such a job, but the possibility had disgusted her thoroughly.

I yawned, sitting back to view my work. I'd barely gotten to the end of the row and my back was already aching. This was not going to be fun. 

"What are you doing?"

His voice shouldn't surprise me, or his unusual timing, but it did. 

"Um... weeding?" I asked, not liking the tone of his voice. This was going to be a scolding - I rolled my eyes.

The man was nearly intolerable.

"Why are you out here like some common kitchen servant? Did I not tell you, you were to be overseeing the household? I did not say you were to be manually handling it yourself."

I paused. He sounded more than a little unhappy. This was not just a little scolding. This was going to be a _big_ scolding. It wasn't hard to tell the difference.

I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "What difference does it make as long as it gets done?"

He scoffed. "You are my wife - you are not to be on your knees unless I put you there." 

I frowned. "There's entirely too much talk around here about what *you* should be making *me* do. Why don't you back off and let me handle it the way I want to?"

"Because you're doing it wrong." He growled. "Obviously."

"Who are you to say what I'm doing right and wrong? It's still being done."

"Are you thick, woman? You are not a commoner anymore. Menial work is _beneath_ you." 

I blinked. "Is that what this is about? I'm too good for yard work?" 

He didn't reply.

"Well I'm sorry that displeases you but I'm hardly going to sit around, drink tea, and bark out orders to others. I don't like that kind of thing."

"Well I suppose old habits are hard to break." 

I tensed. "What's that supposed to mean?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Not that it matters, you stuffed kimono! I didn't want to marry you in the first place! Your lordship already knew I was a *commoner*!" 

He sneered. "As though I had any other choice." 

I huffed. "Some lord you are." 

I swept past him angrily leaving him just as upset as I was. 

Jerk. Ape. Unfathomable beast. I kicked irritably at a stone in my path only to catch my hem on the prickly bush and careen forward onto the path. 

I impacted roughly, skidding my chin hard against the ground. It burned - and I knew already there would be a nasty mark.

Wonderful. 

Just what I needed. 

First to be ticked off by that arrogant cube I'd married and then to fall over. 

Now I hurt. Everything from my chin to my knees ached and I discovered as I awkwardly stood my kimono was ripped.

I scowled and headed for the bathhouse. Maybe a bath could soothe me.

Maybe I'd sink below the water level and drown.

. . . 

The bathhouse was not empty when I arrived. To my near astonishment I'd again run into Kikyo.

The castle it seemed had suddenly shrunk and everywhere I turned, Kikyo showed up.

I was not willing however to get involved in any kind of argument with Kikyo although our relationship seemed to be at an awkward turn.

I sank into the water with a heavy sigh. For several minutes neither of us said anything.

"You look unusually troubled."

"The man's an idiot, who wouldn't be troubled? A controlling, maniacal idiot." 

I frowned at Kikyo's small, amused smile.

"Sesshoumaru I assume?"

I scowled. "Who else?" 

"Problems, then?"

I grumbled. "You're lucky. You seem very happy with Inuyasha." I tilted my head back sinking further into the steaming water. "I'm stuck with that lousy ice-cube and his impish sister." 

Kikyo eyed me carefully. 

"You'll get used to it." 

I merely sighed, eyes closing blocking out sight of the ceiling overhead. 

"But you got to marry who you wanted. My family shipped me out at the first opportunity." She paused. "How _did _you get here?"

Kikyo languished a moment before replying. "I was sent to serve as the castle miko for a time."

I sat up. "Then you met Inuyasha? That's so sweet!" 

"Inuyasha isn't..." she trailed off momentarily. "Inuyasha isn't so pleasant on first acquaintance."

I nodded. "Love takes time, but at least you've got it. I don't have anything. How am I even supposed to...?" I trailed off pausing, blushing slightly.

"Perform your wifely duties?" Kikyo finished. "Is he that bad?"

I blushed. "Sesshoumaru is... He's not... "

"I've heard many things about Sesshoumaru. He's had one or two steady mistresses before you. I believe both women were very satisfied and said he was not a selfish lover. If he doesn't force you or hurt you, it shouldn't be that difficult." 

"Theoretically." I glanced off to the side. "He's still a sour guy."

I missed Kikyo's small smile. "You'll get used to it." She replied.

I just sighed dramatically and turned back with a brilliant smile. "Anyway, I think it's great you're having a baby. I know we aren't the best of friends or anything, but if there's anything I can do to help just ask. What's it like? Being pregnant?"

Kikyo shrugged in a non-committal fashion. "It's hard to describe." 

"How's Inuyasha? The last I saw he was slumped over a table with that dark haired guy, Miroku I think, patting is shoulder trying to wake him up." 

"Inuyasha is adjusting slowly." 

I smiled. 

"Kagome-sama! Are you here?" 

Both of us turned to see a girl poke her head in the door. "Here, Sango-chan," I replied wearily.

Sango smiled sympathetically. "Rin is calling for you." 

* * *

I sighed, tossing again in my bed. I was alone tonight. Who knew where Sesshoumaru was. Probably in someone else's bed I thought resentfully. I stood angrily throwing on a yukata not bothering with anything fancy. Stupid jerk, he had no consideration for me whatsoever. I all but stomped downstairs heading toward the garden. Just about everyone was sleeping now which only led me to further suspect my husband to be in another's bed. I was in his after all, and _he _wasn't there.

I threw the door open and breathed in the chilly air with a sigh. Maybe the cold would do me some good, I thought dismally. I pulled my arms around myself tucking the material tight. I was just winding around the corner into the actual garden when out stepped a man from the shadows, startling me.

I jumped in fright, holding a hand to my chest as I panted.

"My apologizes, Kagome-sama. I did not mean to frighten you."

"Who are you?" I asked, waiting for my heart to calm. 

"My name is Naraku. I am a mere servant here at the castle of your husband." 

"Oh," I immediately deflated at the mention of my spouse. 

He fell into step with me but his presence made me uneasy. I couldn't see him well only that he was taller than me and he had long, wavy dark hair. His eyes seemed to glint in the dimness. 

I gave up the notion of walking in the garden and headed back but he seemed to hardly notice, following along.

"You look unhappy Kagome-sama. I could help. I am of means to provide you an escape from this dismal world. I know the previous Lady of the Western Lands escaped her husband and is very happy today."

I frowned but didn't reply.

"You needn't worry about him finding you. I guarantee your safe passage and concealment."

"I don't think leaving will solve anything." I replied hoping he wouldn't press. I didn't want strangers butting into my relationship. How dare he? I silently fumed.

"Think about it."

His voice was a seductive caress and he left me there alone in the doorway. I thought momentarily about going back out but thought better of it. I was just about to head in when a hand pressed down on my shoulder and then another across my mouth. 

I was yanked out the door and pressed against an exterior wall of the building. I abandoned my scream when I met the gold eyes of my husband. 

"Where have you been?" I snapped, having already forgotten about Naraku.

"What were you doing with him?"

"Who?" I asked dumbly. 

He growled in anger and snapped my wrist up in his grip pulling me in the doorway. I whimpered and he only clamped down harder. He dragged me to our chambers, threw open the door and tossed me inside. He snapped the door closed and left. 

* * *

I could barely stem off the growl. How dare she? Naraku? Naraku?! Of all people to be unfaithful with? That leech? 

I immediately ordered the location and confiscation of the hated man. He would not leave here without punishment. Naraku would be lucky if he left here with his _head. _

I would not allow another to touch Kagome. Anger boiled in my veins and I headed down to the dojo to train.

If I didn't I'd end up going upstairs to my wife and punishing her. Although my body was demanding it, I knew forcibly bedding my wife would ultimately be damaging. I had already established my claim on her. 

Yet my mind would not be rid of the image of them walking together. Naraku trailing at her side so closely whispering lowly. So like lovers they looked sharing a secret meeting. I watched Naraku split off from her after whispering some parting endearment. Kagome remained at the doorway and then looked about to follow him.

Had they been intimate in the garden? Was she following him for that purpose? Was I reading it all wrong? 

Logic whispered for me to take it slow and wade through the facts but my body ached. I ached for her. I was angry and slighted. How dare she let another touch her? If one of us were to be unfaithful it was not to be her. 

Damn it! What was all this talk of trust if she could not be trusted to be faithful to me? How could I expect her to bear me an heir and never know if it was actually mine?! 

I growled lowly. 

Not only had she insulted me - but now she sought out another. It did nothing for my anger remembering her maidenly blush when smiled at by the young man at the stable yard. I fumed in silence snapping a sword from the wall. 

I could see my idealistic image of my family shimmering as it faded. Of course, how could I have ever expected it could work? Women in my experience were flighty and unstable. Kagome was bound to be the same, but that wouldn't matter.

I would make her be the woman I wanted. I would make her stay. She wasn't going. She wasn't going to go anywhere, not as long as I breathed. 

No. 

I grinned lowering my sword to the floor in silent, vengeful triumph. Not at all - I now knew exactly what to do with my darling wife. 

* * *

The door slid open again just before dawn. Light was just beginning to stream through the open window into my room. Or his room. Was it *our* room? I didn't know.

I was awake, unable to sleep. My eyes were tired and heavy. My body ached dreadfully but sleep eluded me. 

I couldn't think, let alone sleep. My mind was racing. What would I say? 

Would he even listen to reason? He'd seemed so upset. It hadn't helped we'd argued just earlier - who knew what he was thinking now.

I wasn't looking forward to the coming storm. The one I was presently on the brink of.

He loomed like a thundercloud in the room, not pacing, not moving. He barely looked to be breathing.

"Well?" He growled.

His temper had hardly seemed to cool. Rather, he stared down at me with eyes glinting with a well controlled anger.

Though I wondered just how well controlled he was beyond that exterior. Everyone had limits, surely Sesshoumaru had them too.

"It's not what you think." I began eyes darting nervously from him to the door as though I were contemplating leaving. Not that it was such a bad idea, especially given how violent he'd suddenly turned. My wrist was still throbbing from where he'd grabbed me. 

"Then explain it to me," he growled. His cold, gold eyes watched me impassively. 

"I met Naraku a couple of hours ago. I couldn't sleep, and I don't know where *you* were... So I went downstairs and ended up strolling through the garden. I was hoping it would make me sleepy. As I was passing under one of the arches he came out from around a corner, scared me nearly to death." 

I paused to sigh.

"He seemed nice enough but I didn't want to be outside with him in the dark so I started walking back toward the door."

"That's it?" 

I frowned. "We talked, I left. That was it." 

"Talked about what?" 

"He said he could spirit me away from the castle in the middle of the night to a place you'd never find me. I said it wasn't such a good idea, he told me to think about it. I left. I certainly never expected to see him again because I had no plans of ever going near the garden again once the sun was down." 

He seemed to snort in derision. "I thought I had made this point before but let me repeat it for you. Obviously that is necessary. You belong to me. If you ever try to escape me - once I catch you - I'll make you miserable for the rest of your life." 

"Well clearly you aren't listening either because I already said, I wasn't _going _anywhere!" 

"I know you aren't. From this point forward you are forbidden from leaving my side."

I paled. "What?! You can't do that! It's completely unfair!" 

He turned away. "When you aren't with me, you'll be here. Alone. Until you adjust to your new place in the household here is where you stay." 

I stood intending to protest but he was out the door and I heard Sesshoumaru beckon for a guard. I stood, listening in absolute horror as a man took up watch at my door. 

I slid to the floor lifelessly. 

Why? 

Why had this happened? Why to me? 

My eyes warmed with tears and spilled over. I crawled back to my bed and cried. 

* * *

Author's Note2: I have good news and bad news.

Good news: There's only 2 chapters left. (Or wait, is that bad news?)

Bad news: I haven't started writing either. ^_^ 

Hey! I did something totally new with this fic. I outlined the entire thing. It's completely planned from start to finish. So when I say 2 chapters, it's actually 2 chapters. So, when it ends with chapter 7 - let me know how it was, okay? Just overall. Thanks in advance.

Please note any errors you see in a review. Although I've proofed this twice I could've missed them easily. ^_^ 

Oh - before I forget. I'll update "Prisoner, My Prisoner" next weekend. (Hopefully. I've completed 13.) 


	6. Part VI

In Terms of a Shadow

Part VI

* * *

Author: profiler120

Email: profiler120@hotmail.com 

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome 

Summary: How dare he? He'd bought her, the jerk! Paid off her mother *knowing* she couldn't refuse the money and all he wanted in return was to marry her daughter. It sounded innocent - it wasn't. If that wasn't bad enough her betrothed was a beautiful, but heartless man who had no interest in her and regarded her, loosely, as his property. 

Author's Note: This story is written entirely 1st person either Sesshoumaru or Kagome's p.o.v. I did not include little notes like -Sesshoumaru p.o.v. - during each change purposely. You're supposed to read and figure out whose eyes you're looking through on your own.

* * *

Chapter 6

I could not notice her despondency. She kept quiet and avoided me as much as her limitations allowed. She would not allow me to touch her without drawing away with a slight hiss. I figured she would cool in a few days, but I just wasn't willing to wait.

I should not be suffering. 

I frowned.

It had been less than twenty four hours and she was driving me crazy already. Why couldn't this be easy? Easy on her - easy on me. 

I slid open the door to our bedroom and found her there, lying in bed. She had thrown the blankets over her head. The last two times I'd come to check on her she'd been crying. Not a pleasant sound in my ears. In fact I'd go as far as to say I hated it, but I had not in the slightest offered her any comfort. 

This time she was silent. I stepped inside and slid the door closed. The figure beneath the blankets shifted.

"Kagome." 

She shifted again. "What? Have more orders?" 

She sounded unhappy. Not a surprise, I thought, but she'd just have to deal with that. I wasn't happy either.

"Get up." 

"No." She replied succinctly.

"Get up." I ordered once more.

"No." Once more she refused.

"You get up, or I join you in that bed." I warned. 

I watched her tense, but reluctantly sit up, only to glare defiantly in my direction. "Haven't you made me miserable enough? Go find someone else to torment!" 

"No," I replied. 

This could be easier, but neither of us was going to budge. One way or another, I thought. 

"Let's go."

"Where?" She asked, not moving the slightest from where she sat on her knees. She didn't even show the slightest inclination of moving.

As though I were going to allow that.

"Up." 

Perhaps she heard the impatience in my underlining tone because she suddenly stood, but not without a glare. Let's see now, it had been, what? Two _days _since I'd shared a bed with my wife? 

I glanced over her tousled figure. _That _would be remedied. I let a slow, predatory smirk quirk up my lips. 

"Perhaps staying in would be just as well," I noted, calmly stalking toward her. I reached for the thin tie at her waist and sensing my intentions she backed away.

"I thought you wanted to go somewhere?"

"I can make do here." I replied. 

I wasn't sure which direction I wanted to take. It would be easy enough to get her to leave now, only staying here and exploring my wife's soft skin didn't seem like such a bad idea either. Although she was presently in a huffy mood I was certain that could be changed easily enough with proper persuasion. 

Still, she seemed quite stubborn. She'd be just as pissed off at me once it was over. Best course was probably to wait - at least until evening. Maybe she wouldn't be so resistant. I hardly wanted to hold her down - imagine! Me, Lord of the Western Lands, reduced to forcing a woman to my bed. It was beyond insulting.

I recoiled from the thought.

It would not happen.

"Then let us go."

I spun on my heel quickly and left, forcing her to follow. Only to be stopped short when I heard the doors snap close behind me.

"I'm not dressed yet," she snapped before I could turn back. 

Fair enough, I wasn't going to drag her across the yard in a sleeping gown. Even if it did sound appealing - maybe it would humble her a bit. Deep down, I doubted it would do anything but cause her resentment to rise from a simmer to a full rolling boil.

Several strained moments later she opened the door. There was nothing spectacular or breath taking about her, standing there in the doorway. The silk kimono looked too fine a garment for her, Kagome was such an ordinary looking girl.

It didn't matter much to me one way or another really. She was my wife and that was that.

"Let's go."

I hoped she would be cooperative and follow along. To my relief, she did. I didn't really feel like dealing with her bad attitude at the moment. Tranquility was the chief thing on my mind at the moment, although if that's what I wanted seeking out Kagome was a bad idea.

I headed toward the exterior door, stepping out. It was a relatively nice day. It was probably going to rain again; it was that time of year. Rainy. I liked the rain with the notable exception that it made everything muddy. 

Everything.

Shoes, feet, clothes, everything.

"Where are we going?"

"Horseback riding." 

I discreetly watched her from the corner of my eye. She looked puzzled. "Horseback riding? Why?" 

I didn't dignify her with a response, I just walked.

She followed, but signifying her mood, she didn't pester me with questions. Rather, she kept on with her stiffly silent routine. Very well, I thought. I'd break that sooner rather than later. Whether she was obliging on the matter or not.

The horses chosen for the day were already out and being handled by the head groom. The tall, lanky man handed over the reigns of my tall, black stallion without a word and scrambled to help Kagome.

I took careful note of her uneasiness and obvious lack of experience.

"I don't know how to ride a horse." She finally admitted after a moment or so of looking frightened.

"Obviously." 

Her lips quirked into a frown. 

"Can't we doing something normal?" 

I turned away. Across the field I saw my idiot brother and his woman, Kikyo. That was a bad sign, I thought. Maybe I should send her for a bath and instead go back to my office. 

My office was my refuge. The perfect place to hide from the idiocy I was continually surrounded with.

I turned my gaze toward Kagome as she was pulled up onto her mare. She looked like she was sitting on a wild beast ready to toss her off and stomp on her. What an amusing creature.

"Going to be defeated by a domesticated animal, Kagome?" 

I watched her back straighten and defiance light in her eyes.

"No!"

She gripped the reigns of the horse tightly and, to my absolutely amazement, urged the horse forward.

A miracle of nature, I could've sworn.

The mare moved and Kagome's defiance popped like a balloon replaced by a look of sheer terror.

"How do you stop this thing?" She wailed.

I barely held laughter in check, it couldn't get any better than this, it couldn't! 

"Oh no!" 

The horse wasn't even at a gallop and she was panicking. I urged my horse to follow along in the enclosed area. It wasn't as though the horse could take off into the wilderness ad she'd be lost forever, but you'd think so with all the fuss she was making.

I was sure she didn't even see the looks the staff was tossing at her, wondering if their new Mistress had gone insane.

I wondered how long it would be before she tried to get off the horse. Would she try? I could do this for a long time, just sit upon my stallion and watch her make a fool of herself. She never seemed properly embarrassed about things though, which sometimes made it less fun than it could've been.

Catching sight of my amused smirk she straightened once more gave it another go. For all of a few minute, she looked completely in control. Only, then the horse started to move faster when she made a movement she'd shouldn't have and panic again set in.

I was barely keeping in my amusement when Inuyasha intervened, stopping the mare and pulling Kagome off. He was about to lead her away when I stopped him.

"Whatever you're thinking, un-think it. She returns to her room."

Kagome whirled around ready to argue. "I am not a dog!"

That was the last thing I was thinking, she'd never looked like a dog. Pet, certainly. Dog, no.

I merely raised an eyebrow while handing over the horse to the groom.

"What are you whining about?"

"I don't want to go back to that stuffy room!" She shouted. "You can't make me!"

Oh... couldn't I? 

I turned completely toward her and watched her tense. Sensing danger - she perked and looked around as if searching for escape. 

"Oh no!" 

Before I could think of what she was doing, she took off on me. I blinked as I watched her run toward the castle before running after her.

This would not do. 

No. 

Not at all. 

I hated sweating. She would be punished for this when I caught up with her.

* * *

I blinked, sitting up. Stupid Sesshoumaru, I thought. I was his wife, did he care about that? Noooo! 

He didn't care.

He treated me like a bad puppy! Or kid, or something.

Whatever it was, it was inappropriate. 

I deserved better.

Well, at least he wasn't beating me, but that wasn't the point. I deserved not to be holed up in my room that was for sure.

I didn't mean to make him angry, at least, not intentionally so. I shouldn't have run off. He chased me down in a matter of minutes. 

Short minutes at that and he hadn't been amused at my little stunt. Far from it.

The gleam in his eye was dangerous.

He'd dragged me inside, tossed me in his room and left. Period. 

No goodbye, no nothing.

It was a silent 'sit-down-shut-up' kind of message. Yeah, the worst kind.

I plopped down onto the futon mat again.

I was sooo bored! I wanted to scream 'let me out', but I was getting enough strange looks already. 

Sesshoumaru didn't help either by treating me the way he did. I think the servants are laughing at us when they retire to bed. I'd tell him that but I'm sure he wouldn't care. That or he'd make some arrogant proclamation or... I don't know.

Why analyze? 

Why think?

I damn well couldn't do anything else! I thought irritably.

Let me out! Let me out!

I was almost ready to beg for forgiveness if he'd release me from this room.

_Almost_.

* * *

I stalked down the hall angrily. Damn girl. Damn woman. Where had she come from, a forest? What the hell - running off like that.

I would not do that. I would not chase her around again. Warnings would be issued, punishments dealt.

My scowl felt etched in place.

As I reached my destination the guard slid open the door. Just inside I could barely make out the figure chained to the wall.

I felt my earlier annoyance fade.

"Feeling unwell, Naraku?"

His lips turned into a twisted, devious smile. "Well enough, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Even captive that slithery tongue of his worked. 'Sesshoumaru-sama', I thought as though it meant anything to this insignificant worm at my feet.

"What were you doing with Kagome?"

He picked up his weary head. "Enjoying the stars together," he chirped, lips curled into a smile.

I stared. What a foul man. There hadn't been a time when Naraku _wasn't _being a royal pain. 

"Really, Sesshoumaru-sama, I was just trying to be helpful."

I scowled. Helpful? Stealing my wife away was helpful!?

"I will not allow your interference." I replied, a deadpan tone. "You have been a nuisance to me long enough."

Naraku chuckled, a low, throaty sound, his eyes drifting closed. The epitome of arrogance. I hated arrogance, it was an attribute only allowed to myself.

Naraku had been a member of my court many years. His father, Onigumo, had been suspected of helping my mother escape the castle and he had been banished by my father. But I wasn't going to let that pass. 

I was not the merciful man my father had been. I would allow no interference, I would not be doubted. No one would disobey me. Naraku merely got the pleasure of being my sacrifice to the price of obedience. 

"I disagree, of course. You _will_ allow my interference. You might get away with keeping me here, but only until the others hear about my treatment. The court will erupt in complete outrage."

I growled at the chained man. "You may have had your way before, but no longer."

I snatched the sword from the guard at the door, grinning in satisfaction as Naraku's eyes widened. Those beady red orbs finally registered some semblance of fear as I approached. My feet tread easy over the floor, no hesitation within me.

I raised the weapon, undaunted by its light weight in my hands and swung in down in one graceful arch.

Blood, a pure crimson color sprayed across the walls. I felt the moisture as it warmed my clothing and touched my face. 

If Kagome could see me now, I wondered, would she be horrified? 

Her new husband holding a sword, the head of a man at my feet, blood covered clothing. She didn't have the first clue what I was about. She didn't know anything.

* * *

"I just heard! Naraku-sama has been killed!"

I straightened by my post at the door. I'd been sitting there listening to people talk as they walked in the hall by my prison, or otherwise called bedroom, door. The door was a pretty thick sliding wood panel, but I'd slid it open a notch to get some sound in.

Had Naraku really been killed? 

I pulled my knees up. I'd never been one for etiquette and since I was alone I saw no need to kneel and instead had plopped down on my backside stretching my legs out in front of me.

Surely Sesshoumaru wouldn't have killed Naraku for trying to get me away from the castle? Or, was he really that insecure?

I almost scoffed at the notion of Sesshoumaru being insecure. 

"Truly?"

These maids were total idiots, I thought, rolling my eyes. Sometimes they said the stupidest stuff, very melodramatic. That was really quite mild to some of the unbelievable nothings I'd heard while sitting here in the last hour. I was truly amazed.

"Does Sesshoumaru-sama know?"

"Know?!" The other replied. "Of course! I heard directly from Yumi that Sesshoumaru-sama himself killed him! She said she saw him emerge from the room covered in blood. It was even in his hair!" 

That couldn't be.

Surely, he was a nut case, but Sesshoumaru couldn't be a murderer. It couldn't be. I leapt to my feet. There was a guard out there, wasn't there? I peered out.

Damn! There was.

Well, I could do two things. I could run for it, or I could wait for him to show up. 

I gave it all of thirty seconds of thought before I determined escape was in order. I counted to three, licking my dry lips apprehensively, hand on the wooden door frame ready to throw it open and run for it.

The maids had since moved on, so only the guard remained.

He was on the left side of the doorway, the same direction the door slid, so I'd have to turn right to get a step ahead. I had serious woes about my plan worrying his strides would be longer and I'd be caught in no time, but they weren't enough to stop me from going forward.

On the final count, I threw open the door, startling the man and took off. I yanked my kimono up indecently almost up to mid-thigh as I ran for it. I could hear his footsteps behind me, calling out, his voice sounding more fearful than angry at my attempt.

Panicking at his nearness, I threw open the first door I came to and slammed it shut. I realized at once I'd entered a bath room. The steam of the room warmed my face.

I turned around, feeling relieved he wouldn't follow me inside this room only to find myself face to face with the blood streaked, golden eyed man I'd married.

I gaped.

"Se-Sesshoumaru!"

My hands rose to my open mouth in horror. "What - you didn't actually..."

"Actually what?" He asked, reaching a hand up to his stained hair. "Kill him? Of course I did."  
"H... How could you? That's cruel! It's human!"

"Why are you out of your room?" He asked voice bland. 

"Don't change the subject," I snapped, venturing closer.

The water of the tub was clear. This wasn't a hot spring as I'd first thought, it was just an imitation. A custom wash basin.

I came closer, keeping my eyes on his, not daring to look anywhere else even though I'd felt all of his body against me before. Seeing it was something else. I'd actually tried _not_ to look.

The dimness of the room made that much easier, but this was totally different. The room wasn't dark, it was broad daylight outside. I could see anything I wanted. 

Still, that didn't stop me from pulling the tie on my obi, carefully unwinding the elaborate sash. The effort was easy and it coiled to the floor around me.

Sesshoumaru kept his eyes on me, watching as I slid the delicately patterned kimono to the floor. I shed the undergarments, letting them all lay there discarded. I swear I'd lost my mind when I stepped into the steaming water.

Here I was dropping my clothes to bathe with my husband after hearing he'd just brutally murdered a man, and proof of it right before my eyes. 

My heart was thundering, what was I doing? Sesshoumaru never looked away, his eyes bright and intense as I approached.

Stripping naked in front of your husband - no big deal really. Unless of course you were newly married to a stranger, then it was weird. So, again, what was I doing? 

It helped, I guess, that he didn't seem to be rejecting me. He had been quite angry at me as of late. I reached up, touching my hand to his upper arm near his shoulder as I came around behind him.

I wasn't really sure what I was doing. I felt so emotionally drained. I'd been everything from angry to desperate and it was seriously wearing on me. Maybe I just wanted to be close to someone and he was all I had. I didn't know.

Was he curious about what I was doing?

No doubt as he tried to turn his head to see me. I reached up, sliding my hands through his hair. 

"Even though I know already what kind of ape you really are, you looked so gentle staring at me a minute ago." 

I was still sliding my hands through his hair. Most of the stains were at the top of his head. I should be in front of him, but I'd have to raise my arms to get to his hair and I'd feel exposed standing in front of him like that, so I couldn't. 

The water was just higher than Sesshoumaru's waist. I couldn't imagine the effort they put in to keep this water warm, but I didn't bother thinking about the mechanics of it all.

He turned, his hair falling from my fingers as he did so. 

"I thought I was cruel and inhuman?"

I glanced away. "You are." 

"Willing to subject yourself to the desires of a cruel and inhuman man, are you?"  
"Well," I replied, with some uncertainty. "Just to you."

I clearly was not thinking at all. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I only meant to lessen the bite of the words I think offended him a little. He, it seemed, was taking that a way I hadn't even thought of.

Okay, I'd thought of it, but not predominantly.

Still, I wasn't scared when he leaned down, his lips sealing against mine. Nor was I frightened when those previously red stained hands pulled me against him. 

His heated lips against my skin caused me to warm to his desire. The touch of his hands made me forget any apprehension I may have had as he simply took me over, my voice gone completely unless you counted those pathetic moans and sighs as I lost control of a situation I'd never had a prayer in.

The hands and lips and body of a murderer... I was so lost. 

. . .

I didn't understand the girl at all. Her eyes were closed, mouth open slightly, head turned just to the side. She was sprawled against the side of the bath, her legs on either side of me. I was still kneeling over her, my breath heavy. 

I didn't understand her at all. 

She had clearly escaped her guard, that wasn't much of a surprise coming from her. Still, sliding out of her clothes to join me in the bath _was_ a surprise and I immediately suspected ulterior motives.

I had only been teasing when I mentioned subjecting her to my desires, just to see how she would react. If only to see if she would still back away from me as she had earlier. It was then quite a surprise when she did the opposite, simply submitting, melting in my embrace.

That wasn't the only unusual thing. Her eyes had seemed unfocused, as if she was uncertain of any number of things going on around her. Her hands had faintly trembled as she combed through my hair also, I doubt she noticed it. 

I withdrew back from her and she roused, eyes opening, turning toward me. I pulled myself up and she drew her legs beneath her to support her own body as I released her. She didn't stay, she didn't cross her arms across her chest self-consciously, and she didn't turn away. Instead, she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around me, pulling her softness against me.

Was there something wrong with her? 

She did seem, by her behavior, to be upset about something.

"I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru. I don't have any reason to want to leave you. You haven't been cruel to me; I never planned to run away, regardless of what Naraku said. I'm trying to manage here; can't you give me a little more faith? What have I done to prove you can't trust me at all?" 

She drew back to look up at me with the same lost expression she'd had before she entered the tub. 

She hadn't done anything I suppose. It was a natural distrust, for her and everyone else. I leaned down to her, pressing a kiss to one cheek and down the side of her jaw. She had such a troubling personality, but she tasted good. Raw. 

I liked it. 

I drew back completely from her, giving her a grunt of approval. She could take it anyway she wanted it, but it did seem to please her somewhat. I drew myself out of the bath and quickly pulled on a robe by the door.

"You want more faith, woman. Fine." I conceded. "I will send a servant to you, dress yourself and report to my office promptly."

I didn't miss her brilliant smile in reply to my orders, but I did ignore it, stepping out. 

She didn't say anything more about Naraku at the moment, but I was sure her annoying sense of righteousness would return when she seemed to rouse down from her unfocused state. Whenever that happened, I could be sure of two things. She would once again push away from my advances and secondly, start running her mouth again. 

I was looking forward to neither.

* * *

Author's Notes: One chapter to go. Which I'm going to finish writing now. Chapter 7 will be my next update, then I'll move onto the others, "Prisoner, My Prisoner" and "Blind Stitch My Heart". Sorry it's taking so long. ^_^

* * *

Reviewer's:

Cassidy Jewell: I know what you mean about 1st person perspective. I very rarely read them myself and I don't, most of the time, like writing them.

ellie: I'm not abandoning any of my works except "Absconding Sorrow", and even that is just going to undergo some major revisions so I can cut out Sesshoumaru and keep it a single Naraku/Kagome storyline. (Possibly, I still haven't decided.)

StoicStella: Yeah, it was Tsuuki (author of "Life Debt") who caught my eye with the lack of perfection between Rin and Kagome. It was a major eye opener for me. 

Unfortunately, I felt Kikyo's coming to terms with Kagome was also sudden and was at a loss as to how to fix that. I thought someone might mention it. ^_^ 

Serendipity1: I've never written a sympathetic character, and I don't think Sesshoumaru could pull it off. ^_^ 


	7. Part VII Final

In Terms of a Shadow

Part VII - Final.

* * *

Author: profiler120

Email: 

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome

* * *

I carefully pulled my clothes on. I'd never liked tying obi's.

I felt so utterly desperate. I needed something, someone. The only person I had, my only friend, was really... Sesshoumaru.

But there had been that look in his eyes. That perfect, lonely gaze he'd directed up at me, his hair streaked with red.

My beautiful, lonely husband. He'd stared at me as though expecting me to reject him, to spurn his touch. How could I? How could anyone ignore a look like that?

I sighed.

I was so utterly confused, I didn't know what to do.

I hung my head a moment as I pulled the last tie on my obi and headed for the door. Sesshoumaru was expecting me, I wouldn't disappoint.

The guard didn't stop me as I expected he would, but remained where he was plastered by the door.

Was... Was he not guarding me, after all? I shrugged. I didn't care. I found his office without trouble and knocked.

His command to enter was a harsh, barking sound, but I wouldn't let his apparent bad mood get me down.

I stepped inside and beamed a smile at him.

He glowered.

I toyed with the idea of kissing those frowning lips, if only to see his surprised expression, but decided it wasn't worth the risk to get so close.

"So." I sat down across from him.

The servant he'd promised to send me never did show up, I thought, recalling the remark.

"Why did you kill Naraku?"

Good place to start, I thought. I did want to know why he'd killed him. I refused to believe it was because of me.

"He threatened to take you away. That is reason enough."

I frowned. So that was the reason.

His definition of "reason enough" certainly didn't match up with mine. I opened my mouth to say so.

"Tomorrow afternoon we're going out riding again. This time beyond the courtyard. Do try to keep from humiliating yourself again."

Humiliating myself? Huh?

"Hey! So I'm not a natural rider, so what? Who wants to be?"

"Return to managing the household affairs." He ordered.

I frowned and stood up. That was a clear a dismissal as I figured I was going to get, so off I was going.

"Kagome"

I stopped at the sound of his voice. With the look on his face I thought maybe he'd apologize or say something tender or Well, that it was going to be a "moment".

"Inuyasha and Miroku are having some type of party in the dining room and I think it's disturbing. Go clean it up."

I growled at him. "I'm not a damn maid!"

"No, but you are **damn** loud, so go throw them out."

I sensed he was more amused than irritated, but I wasn't willing to make any more confrontational moves on assumptions, so I went.

I sighed, breathing in the stale hall air. All was the same as before my untimely confinement. I felt free and happy and

Well, strangely enough, I felt closer to Sesshoumaru, and that was probably better than feeling more distant.

He didn't seem like an open, sharing person.

As I stepped around a corner, I could hear the rowdy crowd already.

"Hello, disaster," I muttered, approaching the room.

Why was he sending me into this zoo of drunkenness?

Manage the household', he said. Why doesn't he manage it? What was he doing anyway, just sitting around that office all the time?

I growled stepping in the open doorway, scowling fiercely. Some quieted at my appearance, others ignored me. Maybe they didn't' see, maybe they didn't care, it wouldn't last.

"Inuyasha" I called sweetly.

He looked over, finally noticing me.

Miroku, right by his side, smirked. "Kagome-sama, come, drink with us!"

I hoped my scowl deepened. "What do you think you're doing, lounging around this room like this? Drinking yourselves under the table?"

I wanted to sound like the disapproving matron, I'm not sure I pulled off the effect exactly.

"We're not under the table," Some halfwit I couldn't identify, or even pick out replied.

"Moron" I muttered

"Oh, come on, Kagome-sama. Lighten up, have some fun." I heard and then spotted Kouga among the crowd.

Somehow seeing him there was fitting.

"Sesshoumaru doesn't approve of your licentious gatherings and wants you all better occupied elsewhere. Now, if you don't get up and get out of this room in exactly five minutes, I'll have the lot of you scrubbing the entire house down with tiny brushes. Got it?"

Silence blanketed the room. Inuyasha was the first to stand.

"Go tell him to come down here himself instead of sending his woman to do all the work!"

I growled. "Go get him yourself." I snapped.

He put his hands on his hips. "Why you doin' what he tells you? We don't need Sesshoumaru's bitch coming' round-"

I stomped forward grabbing a small liquor glass from the table, not noticing it was full until it sloshed onto my palm. I hurled it at him, striking him smack in the forehead.

He grimaced, blinking, what little liquor remained in the glass splattering his face gently. Maybe I should throw the bottle at him too.

"Sesshoumaru's _bitch?"_ I thundered. "Say that again, Inuyasha, and you'll be eating the table!"

The entire room was watching us now. Maybe I reminded him of an angry Kikyo, because he suddenly decided to back off of me.

"Damn idiot brother" He muttered, already glaring, but his gaze was beyond me now. "Sesshoumaru! You wanna fight?"

Sesshoumaru was still in his office, was Inuyasha hoping his brother would hear him? He moved by me toward the doorway. I guess he was going after him after all. Good, Inuyasha was an instigator; it would be easier cleaning them up with him gone.

I rolled my eyes at the tactless shouting. I glanced back only when I heard a heavy thump , followed by an "oomph".

The other occupants of the room broke into laughter at Inuyasha sprawled face first on the ground over the door's threshold.

I didn't find it amusing.

Strange, where had my good mood gone? Maybe the "Sesshoumaru's bitch" comment had helped with that. The nerve of that guy, calling me something so foul.

"Out!" I snapped, finding I was not being obeyed.

Suddenly everyone again noticed me again and my furious glare. They tripped over themselves to be out of the room.

I gathered they might all gather together again in another room, sequestered off somewhere at the back of the house, but as long as Sesshoumaru didn't find them I didn't care.

The room wasn't empty, as I expected. There was still that one guy there. Miroku.

He smiled pleasantly. "You don't mind if I remain, do you, Kagome-sama? I promise to be most courteous."

I waved him off, let him sit, I didn't care. What harm could one guy do? Even if he was a letch there were no other women around except for me. I hoped the fact I was married to Sesshoumaru, recent taker of heads, would inspire him to keep his hands to himself.

Then, quite unexpectedly, another occupant I hadn't yet noticed plopped down with yet another sake bottle. It clattered onto the wood table heavily as he sat it down.

I met Kouga's eyes, not sure if I wanted to frown at his shameless behavior or smile at his somewhat welcome presence. I didn't smile.

"Hey! Wanna drink?" Kouga looked up at me, a smile playing across his lips.

No, I didn't want a drink. I opened my mouth to say so when the kitchen staff appeared with a bucket full of rice followed by other delicacies.

_Food_.

Now that was another matter entirely. I could be coaxed to stay if there was food.

I found I was usually hungry anytime food showed up. I smiled and sat down, good mood reappearing.

"We would be honored to eat with you, Kagome-sama." Miroku reminded me of the slick tongued medicine men that came to town bearing packs on their backs trying to sell reasonably worthless herbs.

I sat down with them anyway.

"One should never waste food," I chimed, taking a seat. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into.

* * *

I heard the slurring idiot long before I saw him. Thumps and shouts, all the way down the hall, accompanied by his own stomping feet.

The dimwit I'd been unfortunately saddled with pounded like a wild beast upon my door before sliding it open and _falling_ in.

He was sufficiently drunk, I thought. So early, too.

Inuyasha lifted his head, and then his frame, pulling himself up and then curling himself down into a decent sitting position.

"Oi!"

His tone was unnecessarily intense, that would be more difficult than usual to tune out.

"What's the problem?" I asked, my tone dry and scathing.

"I did all that stuff, why can't I have some fun? That woman came down –" He reached up and then I noticed his forehead was bleeding.

Had the little whelp gotten into a fight? I hadn't known Inuyasha to be someone easily defeated in any kind of brawl, how interesting.

"That bitch of yours smacked me with a cup!"

_Bitch of mine_I should remember that for later, I thought, already imagining her eyes brimming with the fires of hell and vengeance.

"Didn't I tell you before about lying around in the dining room?"

Inuyasha paused enough to look thoughtful, but then the look returned and no answer to the question was forthcoming.

He opened his mouth, and I prepared myself for the inevitable nonsense to follow when from behind him, I noticed movement.

"Inuyasha"

The softness of her tone was belied by a very audible warning. I watched my brother freeze in mid-insult, his entire body tensing and then slightly ducking.

"Eh?"

It was a pathetic sound. I almost grinned.

"Inuyasha" She spoke again, her voice low and steely.

Inuyasha turned to face his soon-to-be bride, Kikyo, in the still open doorway.

Her eyes were directed at my brother, as though I was not there at all, but I was not offended. This was far too amusing to be worried over such pettiness.

"Didn't we talk about the loud parties and the drinking? Need I remind you-"  
"No? No, you don't need to remind me. I remember." Inuyasha snapped, pulling himself to his feet.

Kikyo glared at the tone and Inuyasha shrunk back.

Whipped.

My brother was whipped by a girl. I felt a smirk blossom over my lips. This was too good.

"Maybe you should send him to bed without dinner " I spoke up. "For a week."

Kikyo's gaze flickered beyond Inuyasha, who was now just registering my comments and whipped around.

"Perhaps." Kikyo agreed, interrupting just as Inuyasha had started to malign me with foul-mouthed insults.

"Wha?" Inuyasha turned back to face her. "You can't not feed me, _woman._ This is my house!"

They were now ceasing to entertain me.

"It's my house." I reminded him. Inuyasha promptly abandoned Kikyo again to attempt another argument with me, but she wouldn't have it.

"We will not disturb you further." Her eyes were directly on me. "If you are unaware, Kagome is in the dining room with Miroku and Kouga."

I quirked a brow. Really now?

"I believe they are dining together. I could not tell if she was drinking with them. The scent of alcohol has permeated the room."

She paused, looking back toward my brother.

"Inuyasha," she spoke, perfectly clipped in the tone of a command.

An invisible collar snapped around his neck and he followed her out, but I heard him grumbling at her all the way down the hallway.

Poor, stupid fool, I thought, standing up.

Drinking with Miroku and Kouga, was she? Hadn't I warned Kouga?

I couldn't recall if I'd warned Miroku or not. All of Inuyasha's friends looked rather much the same to me. They behaved much the same also.

I took my time, wandering to the dining room. Absently, I wondered where Rin had wandered off to, but I assumed Kagome had some inkling. If she didn't I could always punish her. The possibilities of that seemed endless and all seemed quite equally amusing.

As I neared, I noted the doors were pulled mostly closed. Although I thought myself above the menial task of eavesdropping, I stopped outside the doors, perfectly hidden and listened to the conversations within.

It wasn't difficult. They weren't even _trying_ to be secretive about their topic.

_"Shut up! That's not true."_

I wondered what she was so adamantly defending.

"I didn't even know Sesshoumaru's father, but I'm sure that isn't true."

"Ah, but you couldn't be certain, Kagome-sama." There, that was Miroku, I thought, recalling the smooth talking holy man that was always trying to convince the maids to get _friendly._

Yes, I remembered that one.

The monk continued. "The matter is largely rumor; no one is certain what happened."

She slammed something onto the table. I heard glass tinker, and clink as it jumped from the force.

"There is no way that's true! None, I don't believe it, and you better watch it there, buddy. My father was best friends with Sesshoumaru's. I will not tolerate slander!"

The monk immediately acquiesced. "Of course, Kagome-sama, but I did say it was largely rumor. No one knows for certain."

What were they speaking of? I was now thoroughly curious.

"Furthermore, the marriage of the previous Lord is none of your business."

"This is true," Miroku agreed. "I apologize for offending you."

"Damn right." She snapped. "Repeating rumors about the former Lady of the House is bad manners."

"Eh," Kouga grunted. "Who cares, she's not here anymore anyway."

I listened, only to have the sound of shattering glass answer the comment.

"It _does_ matter, you moron!" She snapped viciously. "I wouldn't want people saying bad things about _my_ mother and since I'm married to Sesshoumaru that technically relates me to her so I don't want to hear it again! Got it?"

Both men agreed quickly.

"Good." She chirped, sounding pleased. "How did we get on such a volatile topic?"

I glanced into the room, almost chuckling at the looks the men were shooting at her.

"It isn't a widely discussed topic. Most people around here are too afraid of the current Lord of the House to say anything about the disgrace of his mother."

"As it should be," she agreed. "It's disrespectful. Do you think he wants to be reminded? It was his mother, that's rude." She paused. "Has Inuyasha said anything about her?"

Miroku looked up. "Not for a long time. He told me his mother left when he was little and that his father refused to hear any mention of her name thereafter."

For a man who was probably close or already drunk, he was surprisingly lucid, I thought.

"I heard just yesterday a letter came from her. The servant who handles the mail was worried – afraid if he should deliver it to Sesshoumaru-sama or not."

Kagome's eyes widened. "A letter? From her? Really?" She sat back. "Are you spouting more rumors?"

He grinned.

"Deliver the damn letter, he can handle it." Kouga grumbled. "Holding onto the damn thing is a death wish. That is not the kind of thing you keep from a man like that."

It damn sure wasn't, I thought, pushing the doors open abruptly.

They all leapt like their little kitty nest had suddenly been discovered by a snarling dog.

"What is this of a letter?" I asked.

If they wondered how long I had been there, none was gutsy enough to ask.

"Ah" Miroku shifted uncomfortably. "It was M-Mostly a rumor, Sesshoumaru-sama."

I turned quickly on my heel and left. I heard the sound of clattering glass and the rapid padding of footsteps.

I was in the hall before I heard her voice.

"Sesshoumaru!"

I paused briefly.

"Can I Can I come?"

My answer was a half tilt of my head. She took it as a yes, and followed after.

* * *

Not twenty five minutes later I was in his office, serving him some tea, watching him as he sat, grimacing ferociously at the tabletop, perfectly still.

It was completely and utterly creepy. He hadn't said a word since he got his hands on the aforementioned letter that turned out to be real.

"Sesshoumaru?" I ventured.

I had left him in silence for a while, only to get some tea. I figured he wouldn't want any sake and I didn't want any either. My mother always said it wasn't proper for a lady to drink much and not at all if possible. She had said to me my father had said that to her and it made me feel warm inside.

That was one of the few sets of words I had from my father. I valued them.

"Is it bad?" I asked.

He had yet to respond to anything I'd said.

His gaze turned up to me and I trembled. He looked like he wanted to rip me in half. I felt infinitely thankful he wasn't holding anything sharp, but I didn't really doubt he could hurt me well enough bare-handed.

I forced myself not to look away.

"She is a disgrace to me. She has no right to send me such filth."

Oh, well, that wasn't good. I didn't expect it would be. I knew his mother was a sore-spot.

"May I see?"

I was probably pushing it to ask that, but it was too late. He threw the paper at me with a snarl. If he was closer I might've though he'd bite me, but thankfully the table separated us.

He showed no signs of touching his tea. I wondered if the tea set would end up broken before I left.

The crumpled paper didn't seem anything unusual, not expensive, not cheap. Just paper. The writing was neat and legible, as expected of a high-born lady, I assumed.

> > **_Dearest Sesshoumaru_ – **

I blinked. "Dearest Sesshoumaru? Well that's cozy" I noted aloud.

Sesshoumaru's respond was to growl at me as though I'd written it.

"Hey!" I looked up ready to argue I had every right to call him "dearest", but decided against it when his eyes narrowed even further.

> > **_Dearest Sesshoumaru –_**
>> 
>> _I apologize for writing to you; I imagine my letter will not be welcomed. I have heard your father has died, I am sorry to hear it._

Sorry to hear it? Empty politeness, I thought, was that disrespectful to Sesshoumaru, or was it expected courtesy? I didn't really know, I wasn't familiar with the high art of letter writing among the nobility of which I was now, technically, a part of.

> > **_It is, no doubt, discourteous to you to mention the man with whom I left your house to be with, but I have no other way._**
>> 
>> My beloved has died and left me. Being still married to your father, I was never able to marry my beloved and everything we had, that was his, has gone to his heirs.
>> 
>> _I have had no children with him, myself._
>> 
>> I find myself alone and penniless. In light of my actions, I am shunned. There is no respect or willingness to help a man's mistress – a fallen woman, a woman disgraced voluntarily.
>> 
>> My mistakes are what they are, I suppose. It was foolish indiscretion, but even so, I cannot be sorry I fell in love, I only regret it was with someone outside my marriage.
>> 
>> **I have written to request your assistance, to plead for it. I am alone in the world, with only my two sons, whom I abandoned, to plea for help to. I am certain I have no right to ask anything of you, I was self-centered and my actions well may be unforgivable.**
>> 
>> I am currently located quite near your home in a small village. I'm certain you know the one – your father liked to ride there with you when you were young.

I looked up to meet his eyes.

"She's"

"Dirt poor." He replied dryly.

"You're not going to help her, are you?"

He sat back, a scoff slipping from his lips. "No."

I bit my lip, feeling uncomfortable.

I knew she left. I knew she abandoned him, fallen in love with someone else. I knew this. But still

I looked back up. "You You don't have to bring her here"

"I don't have to do anything."

"No... I mean You won't even consider it?"

""

"If you don't do anything she'll have to wander around and rely on the help of strangers. She's not likely to find much, she'll starve." My eyes widened at the possibly. I could see in my mind's eye a slender woman, dressed in fine clothes, torn and muddied, hair long and elegant, pooled down her frame. I could see her leaning up against a building, cheeks hollowing, and eyes downcast. "That's awful" I muttered, mostly to myself.

I didn't notice the intensity of the stare being leveled on me.

"How very generous of you"

I looked up again. "Sesshoumaru"

He wasn't going to budge, I could tell already. "Empathize with her, do you? Do you see yourself in her place, twenty years from now?"

"No!" I snapped voice taut. "I intend to be _here_ twenty years from now." I lifted my chin, hoping to lighten the mood. "Besides, I could hardly depend on you alone to raise our children. Imagine a house-full of little Sesshoumaru's."

Somehow that thought was a bit frightening.

"Just a little? A little? You don't even have to see her, just You don't want her to starve, do you?"

His respond was silence, but the answer in his demeanor was clear, _I could care less._

I frowned.

"Can I? Can I go meet her, at least? Just once?"

His tone was clipped and sharp. "Do what you like."

He looked away and I realized I was being dismissed.

Tomorrow morning then, I would go.

It was late that same evening, when Sesshoumaru came to the bedchambers, I saw him again. For the rest of the day he'd been anywhere I wasn't. I was more than a little worried he was really angry with me.

When he came in that seemed to be the case. His eyes glanced everywhere but at me.

"You're angry, aren't you?"

His eyes flickered toward mine, gold and bright and intense.

"I've changed my mind." He replied, his voice tight. "I'll leave my mother to you, but you are, under no circumstances, to bring her here."

I blinked, surprised. Why had he changed his mind?

"WWhy?"

He shrugged out of his clothes casually, letting them pool to the floor. He didn't answer, and I could only speculate. I started to ask as he approached me, his hand already reaching, closing around my wrist, pulling me against his chest.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"I told you once, nothing outside matters in this room."

Any protest I might have tried to make was lost as his lips pressed against mine.

* * *

The morning brought warmth and sunshine and an empty room. Sesshoumaru was gone, where he was, I couldn't begin to guess. I stood, going for my clothes.

Once I dressed, I found my way to the dining room. It was empty. There were no lingering scents, stains, wet spots, broken tables, damaged doors or ripped cushions in the room indicating a late night bash had taken place. That seemed like a good start, although I hadn't discovered any of those things before, who knew what could happen? Any party could get rowdy.

I yawned and sat down feeling sleepy. Absently I wondered what time it was.

As it called by a silent call, Sesshoumaru appeared and sat with me. Afterwards, a serving crew following with breakfast.

He didn't speak until it was just he and I again in the room.

I started to speak but he cut me off.

"What you do with my mother in inconsequential to me. I have no interest in your mercy mission. She will not come here and you will not tell me about her, under any circumstances. I will not have my ears sullied."

I blinked. "Understood. No news, no visits."

I smiled brightly at him.

"So then, just Kikyo's wedding and our baby."

He sat up, he didn't ask, but I could see he was curious.

"I'm not carrying one yet; at least, I don't think so. It's too early for me to tell." I answered. "Just looking forward to it is all. Imagine, a cute little girl with eyes like mine. Cute!" I made a day-dreamy face, watching him from the corner of my eye.

He shot me a glare.

I could already see a comment forming about his first child being a "girl".

I laughed.

I guess I was being overdramatic. My life wasn't over, marrying Sesshoumaru wouldn't kill me. In fact, I think I was going to be quite happy here.

As Inuyasha and Kikyo appeared, the former looking disgruntled, my smile grew.

Yes, I was certain it would work out.

* * *

The End 


End file.
